


Gleaming Fierce

by VeroniqueLeNoir



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Azkaban Prison, Diary of a madman, F/M, M/M, Padfoot - Freeform, ghost - Freeform, sirius black - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 12:06:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 34,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14378301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeroniqueLeNoir/pseuds/VeroniqueLeNoir
Summary: Go inside the mind of Sirius Black to learn how he survived during and after his incarceration in the Wizard's prison, Azkaban...He may have left prison behind, but did it ever leave him?Mature rating for language, mature situations, implied violence





	1. Forward

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the prequel to Truth or Dare and was originally published on WATTPAD.

My name is Allison Rogers. As a longtime friend of Mister Black, I found myself much aggrieved when I learned that he had been captured for the heinous crimes of which he was accused.

Sirius Black was a complex individual, like a diamond's facets each competing to outshine the other...brilliant, talented, funny and often reflective; although, he presented as rash, quick to judge and often downright disagreeable...He was usually quiet as if he hadn't a care in the world, although, those closest to him would know otherwise...he seemed a grumpy so-n-so back when I knew him in school, even mean sometimes. _Unless_ he thought you were worthy of his time and attention. I was one of the lucky few to escape Mister Black's notice (for the most part; he really only yelled at me. Still it hurt because he made you feel like you let him down)...I think James Potter and Lily Evans had an awful lot to do with that though. Being housed in Gryffindor tower with the wizdarding version of the Fab Four was always... _interesting_.  At any given moment, there was always some kind of drama going on. While some of us had great home lives, a good portion of us didn't, and one especially, didn't: _Sirius Black._ I had only come to realize this _after_ he left Hogwarts, that he was merely a product of his upbringing; I had returned to visit with Lily and James and I had asked about the old gang, they told me that Remus and Sirius lived with them, but they were usually doing some kind of work for the Order, so they rarely saw them. 

"I'll be sure to tell him that you asked about him," James said as he sipped on his coffee.

I heard Lily's chuckle as I locked eyes with my "brother."

"I believe I asked about the both of them?"

James nodded. "You did. But I know who you meant. We both do, don't we darling?" He smiled brightly as Lily rounded the chair and stood behind her husband and grinned at me. 

"It'll make his day," she added.

"It's a bleedin' conspiracy..." I replied under my breath.

While still in school, I remembered having crossed paths with Sirius late one Saturday morning; he'd been leaning against a wall, completely still, as if he were concentrating on his breathing...He was visibly upset, that was easy to see, by the crumpled letter in his fist, his ridged stance, his clenched jaw and eyes. When I approached him and inquired if he were alright, the boy nearly bit off my head. They (his "family" ) must have been horrific toward him judging by his actions toward some individuals. I thanked all the gods that I knew that he had ever counted me among his enemies. Suffice it to say, I ran through the Common Room only to be stopped by James, who was nearly like an older brother to me...wasn't easy for him to catch me; I was in tears and I didn't want anyone to see me. Still he and Lily along with Remus managed to get the needed information out of me. Vexed, James, Remus and Peter went out in search of him and James having been the one to have located him first, made him apologize to me upon his return to the Common Room.

"Sorry I blew up at you," he said quietly upon reaching me in the Common Room, sitting on the sofa with Lily.

I couldn't look him in the eye; he had a way of peering into a bit of your soul and it unnerved a lot of people, me included. At the time, I didn't know that I looked at people in the same manner. Late that night, I got out of bed and wandered downstairs to the Common Room only to find him sitting before the fireplace staring at the fire. I must have made some kind of noise, because he looked away from the hearth and saw me staring at him with fear all over my face. He smiled and waved me down.

"Wotcher Rogers," he asked as he patted at the floor beside him. I shook my head and he produced his wand and levitated a pillow to the floor and then patted it as well. "Come on, I won't bite. I promise."

I sat next to him, pulling my nightgown over my legs as I brought them to my chest. "I couldn't sleep," I told him.

"Me either." He produced the crumpled letter that he had been in his fisted hand earlier that morning and held it out. I moved to reach for it, expecting him to withdraw it, but he didn't, he merely held it out. I took the parchment from his hand and uncrumpled it to read it.

The contents of the letter was horrific at best. I was from his parents and it reeked of malice and hate. Simply put, his mother spoke of her utter disappointment with him and his "bad attitude" and that if he didn't drop his so called friends and come to his senses, then he was well on his way to being disowned.

I felt awful for him and I rocked on my rear and knelled on my knees and held the letter to the fireplace. "This is poison, Sirius. You should burn it."

He nodded and motioned toward the hearth. "Do it," he said. "Please?"

I tossed the letter into the fire and together, we watched it burn. I turned around to face him and looked into his gray eyes. "You have friends here Sirius. People who really care about you." I hugged his neck and I felt his arms circle around me and as he wept; I could have sworn I heard him mutter than he deserved no one's compassion...it shattered my heart. And I wept with him.

I've never told anyone about that. Until now.

I feel that I need to tell you how all this came about...me penning Black's memoirs or his "tail," a pun, just so you know. It grieves me something terrible that this is what he wants to talk about...but I think that it's for the people who survived him...the ones he really cared about. I count myself blessed to be counted among those precious few.

I happened to be at my tiny flat in the Soho district of London when I read the headline and I distinctly remember reading the headline that practically screamed that Sirius had escaped the confines of Azkaban prison...I jumped up (scaring my cat and causing her to hiss at me) and squealed with elation. Not once did I think that he would _EVER_ go after his best friend's child...he was  no death eater! I knew that for a fact! I also knew that he _never_ , _EVER_ supported You Know Who...he fought them at every turn, didn't he? 

How do I know this? 

He saved my happy and oblivious Quidditch-playing arse on not one, not two times, but _three_ times...apparently, someone wanted the Irish to lose the British Quiddich Cup? Anyway, each time after seeing to any injuries that I may have sustained, did he proceed to yell at me and then turn on James, Remus and then himself for shielding me like they did; why they didn't think I need to learn how to duel properly, he'd never know...That they'd rectify it as soon as my game schedule would allow. He said it was because he cared about me...again, I think James had everything to do with that...his parents had suggested that they make me an "honorary Potter", especially after the summer I spent with them when my Dad was trying to secure the World Cup for the Irish...let's just say that I learned a lot about a lot of things that summer and Quidditch was only part of it...And true to his word, they did teach me how to duel properly and I took to it like a duck to water.

I'd always known he was not guilty of the atrocities they accused him of when the Potters were murdered and just like always, no one listened to me...for what could a jock possibly know about anything?

I got to see him a few times though after his infamous prison escape. I happened to be in Hogsmeade with two other players from two other teams, on our way to Hogwarts for the purpose of recruiting while Sirius Black was at large and I was tickled pink every single time he was "spotted" and they were unsuccessful with his capture...my mates thought I'd gone mad!

We were near the edge of the village when this _very_ large skinny dog walking toward us happened to cross our path. I remember it clearly: I stopped in my tracks and glanced over my shoulder doing a double take; the dog had stopped in the middle of the path lifting his head, his nose sniffing at the air as if he'd caught a scent of something. He turned around and headed in our direction and trotted past us. As a cat fancier, I was a little unnerved when the dog stopped, turned around and sniffed again as he passed us. Then, he spun and sat on his haunches and whined, lifting his paw and looking up at me with those sad puppy dog eyes...you know the ones...we've all seen them. I crouched down and held out my hand for him to sniff and then, he licked at it. I realized at once, what, or _who_   I was dealing with and it was all I could do not to react. I remember slowly pulling my other hand away for in my other hand was my lunch which I was eating as we walked up the path toward the castle. I gave him a piece of my minced meat pie and tried to continue on my way as a lure (Sirius always seemed to be hungry for proteins)...We had an appointment with the Quidditch teams at Hogwarts. The dog followed behind us.

We had our two hour talk with the school teams about sportsmanship, fair play and all that. We also urged them to come up with cool plays of their own, not just to copy the brilliance of House Teams before them. All the while, the dog was staring at one single player...even went up to him and put his head on the boy's knees, gazing up at him adoringly. Yes you guessed right, the boy was the Seeker for the Gryffindor team, Harry Potter himself and instinctively, I felt my heart fall to the pit of my stomach.

And that's when things started to click in my head. So, I took the train back to London taking the dog with me, telling him that he needed healing and that Harry would be alright...besides, he had Dumbledore and Lupin to look after him, didn't he?

The look on the dog's face was priceless when I mentioned Lupin...he actually did this kind of prancing dance as if he needed to go do his business...So, just in case, I found a bit of clothesline rope in a small box in the cupboard beneath my kitchen sink. Of course, he didn't have to "go" at all...but he did manage to pull me down the walkway so hard that I almost fell several times, nearly dislocating my shoulder.

It wasn't until I addressed him as "Sirius," did he stop and turned to face me, his ears flattened to his head.

Then, it was _my_ turn to yell at _him_.

And you can bet, I really let him have it, right in the middle of Soho. People must have thought I'd gone round the bend screaming at a dog for worrying all of us...He lowered his head and walked past me to the front of my building and climbed the steps to the main door and waited to be let in. So, I took him back up to my flat and once inside, he materialized into Sirius Black in front of me.

Of course, I seen him transform before, but I had no idea of the deplorable state the poor man had been in for years and I think I fainted because the next thing I remember, I was waking up on my sofa and there were two bowls of left over soup on my table, each with a glass of ale, one of which had been partially consumed no less, and the black dog was laying on the floor by my side. "Don't like the soup," I asked.

The dog merely looked at me and lay his head on his massive paws and closed his eyes.

It didn't occur to me that his stomach wouldn't have been able to tolerate real food after having been served horrid gruel for twelve years.

And my cat? Well, she wasn't a fan of Mister Black at all...she stayed high up and did the " _Vulture-kitty_ " thing from the top most shelf of my book case and of course, true to his nature as a dog, he stared up at her for hours on end, daring her to move.

I didn't see "Sirius Black" again for two years until he returned to his ancestral home in Whitehall. Our visits were short, barely enough time to catch up, as there were people all over the house, people constantly invading our privacy, but it was enough to put me in the family way...all it takes is once, my Dad had said to me. Penny is the light of my life and I thank Sirius everyday for giving himself to me thus allowing her to grace the Earth with her sweetness and beauty. As of his writing, she is five and is quite the handful...As a single mother, I certainly have my challenges! But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way! As he was once the light in my life, she shines brighter...but perhaps I am just a tad bit biased?

Only when I wrote to him letting him know that I was pregnant, did he began sneaking out of number 12 Grimmauld Place and trotting over to my flat...and since everyone knew "Snuffles," they let him in the building, all the while fussing at him for running away again...He seemed distracted though and appeared visibly guilty of something that was never revealed to me.

When I learned that he had died protecting Harry Potter, I was devastated...I never got the opportunity to tell him all the things that I had longed to...he was always about seeing me through the pregnancy and making certain that I was comfortable and cared for. I was in my final trimester when he was murdered by Bellatrix LeStrange.

I curse her. _Every. Single. Day_.

So on his birthday some five years later after I put Penny to bed, I dug out my mum's old Ouija board and with two of my friends as well as my cat, after I lit every candle I had in the flat, I placed the planchette on the board and let her rip...I breathed in deeply...

"Sirius Orion Black the Third, if you're out there, please...let us know?"

We were met with silence...

I looked to my friends and tried again. "Siri?" (He always _hated_ that nickname; I thought it might get his "attention".) Then I thought I heard a man's amused laughter, but since my friends didn't seem to hear it, I said nothing.

I lit a cigarette and took a sip of my wine then placed my fingers on the planchette again.

"Sir..."

The planchette began to move beneath the weight of our fingers and my friends and I looked to the other, wondering if any of us were moving it...

_"'S.U.P."_

My eyes filled quickly. That was the very first thing he had ever said to me on the quad outside of school whilst I was enjoying a cigarette in peace, when James and he barrelled from out of nowhere and interrupted my solitude...

The planchette moved to " _hello._ " and then spelled out, "L.A.D.I.E.S."

"How do I know it's really you?"

 _"Y.O.U.R.A.L.E.I.S.C.H.E.A.P._ "

I burst out laughing. "Well, I can afford better now."

" _S.A.D.P.A.D.F.O.O.T."_

"Aww. I'm sad too. We all are. It's not fair."

" _P.L.E.A.S.E.D.O.N.T.B.E_."

"I miss you guys...all of you..."

 _"J.A.M.E.S.S.A.Y.S_." The The planchette moved to " _hello_ ," and the planchette moved again to the letters: " _D.I.A.N.A."_ after the hunter-Goddess who could talk to animals.

I smiled through my tears at seeing my nickname being spelled out. "Hey big brother..."

The three of us smiled. "What else do we want to ask," June asked.

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

"Oh, I know! What's life like there in the great beyond," Kathryn asked as she took a sip of her wine.

" _F.U.N.N.Y.W.E.R.A.L.L.D.E.A.D.H.E.R.E_."

We giggled at the ghostly joke.

" _G.E.T.P.A.R.C.H.M.E.N.T_."

"What?"

" _G.E.T.P.A.R.C.H.M.E.N.T.N.O.W.N.O.W.N.O.W.N.O.W."_

" _ALRIGHT!_ Enough already!" I rose from the floor and since expediency seemed prudent, I trotted into my bedroom, having felt like I had moved through a warm patch of air and realized that I had walked through a spirit. Was it him? I had no idea, honestly. I was constantly walking through them at school, so I knew what it was..."You're a bleedin' ghost magnet," Remus had said to me once. "Well, m'mum's dead and I'd like to think that she's with me everyday," I had responded. "So, why not?"

"Sirius, did I just walk through you?"

The girls were watching me and my eyes fell to the planchette...it was moving on its own..." _YESYESYES"_ And we all heard the maniacal laughter...and it was enough to frighten my guests straight away.

"Right. I'm done," Kathryn said.

"Me as well," June said.

Didn't take them long to get their things and vacate my flat as I sat on the floor with the board completely stunned. "Well shite! It was their idea to do this!"

Rolling my eyes, I picked up my glass with a huff, drained it and stood quickly; I nearly lost my balance.

 _Careful now_.

I looked to the board...it was motionless, but I was keenly aware that I had heard a disapparated voice...I hadn't gone loony and imagined it.

_I can't very well catch you if you fall, now can I?_

His voice was as gentle as I'd ever heard it. I looked around the flat; obviously but no one was present with me; no males at any rate. And then, I felt a warmth surround me like an embrace. Hair tickled the side of my face and I turned to look at what I thought I saw from the corner of my eye: Sirius Black was smiling mischievously at me and then, he winked his eye. I bolted on my hands and knees to the other side of the room and felt my back against the cold wall and I closed my eyes. My cat had assumed her place on the top shelf, staring down at the ghost...he rose in the air so that he was eye to eye with her.

 _Boo_ , he teased and she hissed at him. _I missed you too, Isis,_ he said.

"This was stupid," I thought out loud. "How many times have I talked to the spirits at school? A lot!" I looked up to see that I was alone.

 _I'm sorry Pet. I didn't mean to frighten you_.

"Startled. You startled me. That's all."

 _Right_.

"It's true!"

 _Of course_.

"You're making fun of me...stop it."

 _Make me_ , the ghostly voice teased.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Gods! Talking to you is like talking to _Peeves._ "

I was met with silence.

"Oh bother!"

I entered my kitchen and opened up my ice box and withdrew a small white bakery box, opened it and withdrew a small angel food cake with strawberries and a heavy-whipped cream topping. I opened up a drawer and withdrew a single unlit birthday candle and placed it on the top of the cake.

"Happy Birthday to you," I sang in a whispered voice. "Happy Birthday to you..." I sniffled.

 _OH STOP IT!_ _DON'T_ _DO THAT_ _!_ _I don't deserve it!_

I held my head in my hands, tears streaking my face.

"I loved you," I said through my tears.

 _I know_.

I looked up into my living room, seeing nothing except my sofa and the windows behind it.

"You do?"

 _I loved you too_.

"Why didn't you ever say anything!"

 _You can do better_. _I've always known that_... _Reggie_

"Well, he's gone as well, isn't he?"  
  
I closed my eyes and buried my face in my arms and bawled my eyes out until my daughter opened the door to her bedroom and walked up to me, asking for a drink of water. I collected myself, asking why she was awake. She'd said that the doggie-man woke her up, wanting to play and I wondered how long he had been visiting her...I looked toward the whispy-looking specter who was smiling adoringly at her.

At least the ghost was aware of who the child was...She was _his_. _So precious...You know, she's the best thing I've ever done,_ he said in his ghostly voice.

Sirius' specter floated in and out of my kitchen, the bathroom and the bedrooms as if he were keeping watch as we slept.

 _My people need closure. And so do you, Sweetheart. I want you to tell my story,_ he whispered to me in my dreams sometime in the middle of the night.

I must have agreed to it at some point...


	2. Hard and Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius' first day in Azkaban

During processing, I was stripped of my clothing, tattooed in three  places: my neck, my wrist and my ankle. It took seven Aurors to hold me down and I knew each and every one of them; I worked with them, didn't I? If only Mad Eye hadn't given me time off for my birthday; I was going  to be twenty-one and had plans to try to make nice with Moony, for old  time's sake...I missed him. I missed someone else too...I'll call her Ally for now, but she knows who she is...

They tossed  prison garb to me which consisted of the usual, a pair of white trousers  with black stripes, a matching shirt and a dull gray coat, marking me  as a former Auror, as well as a pair of thonged sandals. Each of the  garments was marked with my prisoner's number.

I was given a sheet of a blanket, if you can call it that as well as a pillow case with only a bit of a plume in it. The man who'd given that to me was Percy Winthrop, a former auror, who'd changed his employment to prison guard...he was one of the toughest aurors out there...right up  there with Mad Eye Moony...the look on his face was hardened and his  eyes looked into mine with complete and utter disappointment.

"Never saw this coming," he said under his breath as he took my arm and led me to the dissapparation point.

~~~~~

He looked into my eyes as he pulled the gate to the cell closed. "Enjoy your stay, Sir," he said and turned to walk away. Only when he was off the ward, did they begin their descent...

"Percy...I DIDN'T FUCKING DO IT! HELP ME, MATE! _PERCY!_ "

I knew it was no use, screaming at Percy as he left me alone in the cell...at least the man knew who I was, so I suppose that was some comfort? I realized quickly though that I was the only living soul on the bottom floor of the prison and that no one would hear my screams when the Dementors descended...and they came on quickly, each taking turns as if I were a fount of endless energies...and I had absolutely no way with which to defend myself.

The first face that I saw was James'...he was utterly disgusted with me; telling me what a waste of human flesh I was, that I wasn't worth the air that I took in...expelling poison in my wake.

They hit me hard and fast in those days...in the beginning...and I quickly realized that I had to come up with a plan very quickly if I was going to survive the brutality of this place that I was to call, Chez Azkaban.

Later that evening with Percy arrived with my evening "meal," he informed me that he had spoken to Minerva directly asking about what kind of student I had been, saying that she admitted that I was a natural born criminal but that She knew that I served my detentions with honor. That made me laugh actually, mostly because it was true, she also said that she knew that I had never hurt anybody and that I never would...wasn't in my nature, not really...I had to really be pushed beyond my limits to actually act on anything. I could out-wait the Grim Reaper if I wanted to...I'd always known that.

Perhaps that was why my animagus was the Grim?

As we talked a little bit before he gave me my food if you can call it that something clicked in my head: "So that's why Peter's..."

"Peter? _Peter Pettigrew?_ What about him?"

I shook my head. "Nothing," I said.

I had suddenly realized why Peter's animagus was a rat...Rats are notoriously intelligent and you _never_ see them coming and then it's too late...

 _Figures_...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but sweet...this is how Sirius remembers it.


	3. Same Shite - Different Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius' first Christmas day in Azkaban...second verse, same as the first...

Looking to the sliver of a window to nowhere, I saw that it was snowing...A white Christmas...lovely. I had figured out how to tell the time...based on where shadows fell. Percy helped me with that, didn't he? Decent bloke he is, even if he's a hard-arse. Told me what the real time was and I guessed from there, but I was usually right, or really close.  I pulled the cot to the window once soon after I arrived to the prison just to see what was out there...A whole lot of fucking nothing...What is it they say? Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink...Remus had told me once that some brilliant muggle playwright by the name of Shakespeare had penned that...

I had wondered what Remus would be doing on any given day. But this particular day, I had looked at the calendar that I had began on the stone wall by the cot. Friday; each day marked by a tick on the wall...and according to the shadows, it's about noon...so, if it weren't Christmas day, he'd be food shopping, if he's got any money in his pocket at any rate; we promised him that we'd take care of him, didn't we? Sorry friend. I should have set up some kind of provision for him just in case; I thought we'd have plenty of time. I don't know if James ever got around to it either. Damn. He'd no doubt be visiting with his Dad. Cool bloke, that Lyall Lupin.

So, back to Remus' store list...the shopping list would undoubtedly consist of tea (that man drinks more tea than anyone else I know), bread, cheese, perhaps some minced meat if it's on sale. Some milk and some dry cereal. And peas. And chocolate. Gotta have _those_ , no matter what...That man LOVES his mushy peas and his chocolate! Personally, I'm not a big fan of them. I do however, like my french beans. And a good cut of beef and some potatoes... _man food._

Why the hell am I thinking about _real_ food? Not like I'm going to see it anytime soon...But I tell ya what...when I DO get out of here, when those asshats realize that I had nothing to do with James and Lily and all those other poor souls, they'll let me out of here. And when they do, I'm gonna hit up Ally and beg her to cook a big, fat, juicy steak for me. And then...I'm gonna shag her silly!

Oh wait. 

_I can't._

She was killed too trying to find and stop me from fucking Peter up.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck... _FUC_ _K!_

She was too damned good at her job, wasn't she? I'll never forget the look on her face when she found us arguing on the stoop...Peter saw her too. And that's when he drew his wand and cast bombarda maxima, blowing up the main gas line, taking half the street and all those people with it, including my Ally. That's when I went in for the kill, only what did that little git do? He yells, "Oh Sirius! How could you!"

_What the fuck?_

Before I knew it, my wand was in my one hand and his neck was in the other.

And that's when he transformed and bit me, the little fucker...hurt like a bitch too. All I could do was to laugh at the absurdity of it all when the aurors showed up. 

That little rat fink got the better of me, didn't he? But he's out there somewhere. I know he is. And when I find him...Vengeance will be sooooo sweet, won't it? Oh hell yes it will!

I reckon that's what they mean when they say, adding insult to injury. Or is it the other way around? I forget anymore. I suppose I have the soul suckers to thank for that.

I'm tired...but mostly, I'm bored. There's no one to talk to. I'm not allowed books, or the paper. Hell, even an old one would do...They won't give me parchment and a quill. I don't understand that at all. How the hell am I to contact my solicitor? And why is it that I have no visitors? There has to be at least ONE person who doesn't think I could possibly do all those horrible things...there has to be one...all it takes is _one_...

And why is it that I haven't been brought up before the magistrate? Even petty thugs get that...Dung Fletcher for instance. I think the magistrate is on his Christmas card list by now...

And I wonder what Reggie thinks of all this? I should have beat his arse to a pulp and then taken him to the goblins to get that bloody tat removed from his arm...Stupid thing to do Reg... _so stupid_...Why don't you ever listen to me anymore? You used to...

Mum has probably died from complete embarrassment by now.

Ooops?

Nah. _Fuck her_.

And the Dursleys. They'd BETTER be taking real GOOD care of Harry...Bless him. Such a sweet baby. I wish I could have seen him on the broom that I got him for his birthday! I can only imagine him racing around, chasing the cat! Or James! I can picture it now!

 _James_...

Prongs.

My brother...

I am so sorry that we agreed to change the secret keeper. I'll never forgive myself for that. Not ever.

Gods.

And sweet Lily...

 _No_. 

I have to stop thinking about them. It's like a wake up call for the bleedin' soul-suckers, isn't it?

So what the hell do I think about? I've counted the stones in the wall. Twenty-six thousand, four hundred and ninety-two. Perhaps I can do a recount and make certain that number is right?

Nah.

Well, it takes Percy twenty-seven footsteps to reach me. I know that I'm in the very middle of the ward, so the corridor is roughly...ah screw this! I don't feel like doing maths right now. I'm hungry, damn it. Perhaps if I sang...perhaps that might help? I wondered if Dementors ould actually hear. Probably not. What they hear, are our thoughts and feelings...that's what turns them on, not horrible singing...I've not the best vocal sylings in the world, but I don't do too bad, I reckon. _I'm Henry the eighth I am, 'Enery the eighth I am, I yam...I got married to the widow next door, she's been married seven times before_...Christ! My voice had gone to hell in a hand basket!  
  
And here they come..."Oh yeah! Let's have at it boys! I so love a good fight...just sucks that it's for my very soul!" And yes, boys and girls...I _DO_ have one.

And speaking of the devil, here he comes. 

"EXPECTO PROTRONUM!"

The Dementors fled at the sight of a spectral Staffordshire Terrier bounding through the air toward them.

"Up and at em, Black. Got lunch for ya."

I looked over at him and sighed. I didn't feel like getting up. But the man wasn't dressed in his uniform...he was wearing dress trousers, and a pull-over jumper...the man had come from home. Jeeezuz, Mary and Joseph!

"Black?"

"Yeah?"

"You gotta get up so I can..."

"Don't feel like it, Perce."

"Feeling alright?"

"You're kidding me, right!"

"Sorry. Bad choice of words I reckon. But you have to eat. If you don't, they'll stop with the lunches. And you don't want that."

I turned my head and stared at him from the flat of my back.

He looked down at the slop in the metal bowl. "Right. I wouldn't want it either. I wouldn't feed this shite to the bitchy neighbor's dog."

"Then kindly explain to me how the hell..."

"It's my _job_ , Sirius."

"And that makes everything right as rain, right?"

" _Sirius_..."

" _Percival_..."

"Look you need to understand something. No one else _wants_ this job."

"Can't say as I blame them none."

"No, you're not following me. If I continue to make requests on your behalf and bending the rules, they're going to assign someone else. And let me tell you..."

I nodded my head. "I get it, Perce," I said. " _Seriously_."

Percy closed his eyes and chuckled as he shook his head. "How long have you been wanting to say that to me?"

"For a little while now," I admitted, chuckling.

Then he turned, fast as lightning, whipping out his wand and pointed it toward a dementor, sending it away again. The thing was, he did it silently...I had to remind myself not to fuck with his man unnecessarily. He was being a good sport by talking to me...I know that it's not in the job description.

I rose from my cot and stood in front of the bars. We'd stopped with the formalities months ago. He handed me my bowl and my cup. But he had something else in his hand. "From the grand kids," he whispered. "You remember me telling you that they weren't buying the murder rap for you, yeah?"

I nodded and looked down to see two small bars of chocolate in his hand covertly. He slid them into my fingers and I nodded.

"Because you know, it's only a matter of time, right?"

"Yes. Please tell them thank you for me. It helps to know that not everyone thinks I'm guilty."

He smiled and nodded at me. "Not everyone thinks you're guilty, Sirius. That's why I'm here and not somebody else. Understand?"

I nodded my head and turned back to my cot, sat down with my gruel, water and my Christmas sweets. I placed them beneath my pillow as I wiped away a tear that was forming in my eye.

"Happy Christmas, Sirius," he said.

"Happy Christmas, Percy."

"I'll be back at suppertime. I told the warden that I was bringing you something from home whether he liked it or not. Everyone else here gets some kind of Christmas fare. You should as well and damn it man, if I have to bring it from home, then so be it!"

I felt my face crumble and I squeezed my eye as tightly as I could to stop those bloody tears from coming...what a nancy I've become! Remus would have rolled his eyes. James would have too, only he would have popped me on the back of my head as well...and Remus would have yelled at him for it, kissing my little booboo for me, making everything all better.

I looked up to see that he had left, but he was still walking, advancing quickly toward the door to the corridor. "HEY! I'M AVAILABLE FOR ADOPTION," I yelled out and I heard him laugh as he exited through the door.

I lifted the pillowcase and looked at the chocolate bar and tore at the wrapper, carefully opening it. I broke off a small piece and stuck it in my mouth, letting it melt...it was like noshing on a piece of heaven...

"To your good health, Percy! God love ya!'


	4. Doomed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius realizes that he's never going to be pardoned..

Within a year of my incarceration, I realized that if I was going to ever get out of Chez Azkaban, it was going to be in a pine box. It hit me like a avalanche...I'd seen it coming, but was unable to do anything about it.

I was guilty.

So what if everything was circumstantial? I was quite aware that the Auror department did their best to give people a fair shot...but I rarely ever did...but then, I knew the people we all fought on nearly a daily basis...I had an inside track didn't I? 

I am a Black after all....and that's what makes me auto-magically guilty. Of everything. Not only did I kill all those innocent people milling about that late afternoon in November, but I handed over the Potters too, didn't I?

There's a gray area on that one, I suppose? I agreed to Peter becoming the secret-keeper...Hell, it wasn't even my idea, was it? No, it was James' idea; if something were to happen to them, they wanted their son safe...that was paramount! And for that reason and no other, I had agreed to it, sealing their fate.

I should have been a hateful git and said no. But I didn't. Although I did try, I really did! But in the end I always went along with James, didn't I? And he knew it; he'd have his way; he only had to frame and present things a certain way. Still, I should have stood my ground. Now, James and Lily are gone and Harry's with someone else anyway.

But the fact that the department wouldn't never let me go before the magistrate was unconscionable. And when I pressed Percy for information, he told me:

"It's not the department lad. It's Undersecretary Fudge. He's the one standing in your way. Said that you were laughing manically after the incident until they relieved you of your wand and broke it before your eyes."

I remember thinking, _what the fuck_...and he continued:

"It's no secret that Fudge isn't a fan of the Blacks, but when the other Aurors collaborated with his story, well..."

I protested vehemently. "Tell them that I'll stand before the Wizengamot, under verita serum, if I have to!"

"Won't matter none, Son. I'm sorry. I did try...I even spoke directly to Dumbledore, himself."

"You did!"

"Yes. He listened very patiently to what I had to say, and I sat there while he read all my notes..."

It wasn't until then that I remembered what a brilliant interrogator he was that it hit me...all of the questions, all those gentle cross-examinations...he was interrogating me the entire time.

"I knew you weren't _doodling_ ," I said as I lay on the flat of my back and looked up at the ceiling again."So tell me...what do you think, Percy?" I rolled over and sat on the edge of the cot, my bare feet on the cold stone floor.

"I believe you," he said.

I looked at his newly polished boots...but they were always highly polished; they were a source of pride for him. The story was that his mother was part of the MacFusty Clan and her betrothed, had been gifted with the hide of a Hibridean Black dragon...those boots were made from a bit of the hide...

"Thank you..."

"So, what else is bothering you?"

"Still interrogating, Perce?"

There was a ghost of a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. " _Always_..."

"Well, I just cannot understand why Dumbledore continues to block my chance at a fair trial!"

"Well, the last thing he said to me was that you're a smart man and you'll figure it out."

I felt a cold and heat wave of shock travel through my body. "Did he now..."

Percy nodded. "Mmhm."

He was keeping me there for a purpose that unfortunately, was still unknown to me.

 


	5. Noms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy's edgy and Sirius tries to joke it off...

Sirius lay on the rickety bunk idly watching the baby spiders hatch in the corner by the ceiling whistling and singing a muggle song that he had forgotten most of the words to and what he couldn't remember, he'd hum, but the music he could remember vividly, the guitar, the bass and the drums...it was one of Ally's favorites and she damned near wore out, the vinyl record playing it over and over...And damn, that girl could dance! She moved like an exotic dancer, gyrating her hips, and letting her arms sway in the air, lost in her own little world...she would often pulled him into the middle of their little flat's living room and gaze into his gray eyes, pulling him along with her in her little private dance...then eventually, he'd have enough and pick her up, throw her over his shoulder and toss her on the bed then he'd have his way with her...He had told James that finally understood what he meant about sex being the very best part of being married...sex whenever and wherever...and the sex between them was always _soooo good_...

_Agents of the law  
_

_Luckless pedestrian_  
I know you're out there  
With rage in your eyes and your megaphones  
Saying all is forgiven  
Mad dog surrender  
How can I answer  
A man of my mind can do anything

 _I'm a bookkeeper's son_  
I don't want to shoot no one  
Well I crossed my old man back in Oregon  
Don't take me alive  
Got a case of dynamite  
I could hold out here all night  
Yes I crossed my old man back in Oregon  
Don't take me alive

His sentinel Percy stood at the bars. "Alright Black, up and at 'em! You know the drill. Move it!"

Sirius glanced from the corner of his eye, barely turning his head at having his daydream interrupted. "I do hope the chef granted my request of a lovely huge steak...something with a large bone to gnaw on..."

"Not likely."

Sirius rolled off the cot and got to his feet, weak as well as a little shaky from malnutrition. "Is the water clean today," he asked.

"Same as it always is."

Sirius rolled his eyes as he held out his hands on the wall as best as he could. "Ready when you are mate," he said.

The man shoved his evening's rations through the bars and stood, shaking his head staring at the emaciated thirty-something standing in the middle of the cell, his face softening a tad. "I don't know how you do it," he said finally.

"Wot..."

"Stay _sane_..."

"What the fuck makes you think I'm sane, Paul?"

"That's not my name Black and you know it."

"No? Oh. I rather thought that it suits you better than the one you have and it still begins with the letter P... _Percival_...One of Dumbledore's middle names is Percival...did you know?"

The sentinel frowned as he nodded his head and pointed to the metal bowl. "Bon Appétit, Monsieur..."

"Ah, merci, merci...à bientôt!" Sirius ambled toward the gray slop in the metal bowl along with the cup of cloudy water. "Ahhhh! GRUEL! My _VERY_ FAVORITE! HE ALWAYS SEEMS TO KNOW WHAT I _REALLY_ WANT...PLEASE GIVE CHEF MY HEARTFELT THANKS FOR ME WILL YOU?" He knelt down to pick up the bowl and cup and carried them back to the cot and plopped down and suddenly remembered a conversation that he had had with Remus regarding porridge..."I don't reckon you'd care for this shite Moony," he said talking to some unknown person who wasn't there. "Even _your_ taste buds would reject it!" He brought the bowl toward his lips and slurped at his contents. 

There was a time when he'd vomit just to look at it...now it was just a fact of his life, twice daily...he'd made the mistake of refusing one meal a day for too long...so, they took it away.

"Hey! No salt?"

The man sighed and shook his head...even _he_ had misgivings regarding Black's incarceration and he stopped at looked back over his shoulder at the bars to Black's cell.

_"Got a case of dynamite...I could hold out here all night...Yes I crossed my old man back in Oregon...Don't take me alive...Don't take me alive..."_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song excerpt: Don't Take Me Alive, by Steely Dan - 1976


	6. Fudge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Minister for Magic pays a visit

Sirius hadn't been allowed a single visitor in the twelve years that he had been incarcerated. Not one. So when he was informed that the Minister for Magic was coming, it was all he could do not to glare at Percy.  

"Alright, what's going on in that head of yours?"

"I want to know why you're bothering to tell me?"  
  
"Because. You're on the V.I.P. list."

Sirius' eyed widened. "Wot?"

"Yeah! He wants to see you!"

"Oh that's just fucking lovely, isn't it," Sirius grumbled.

"It's a big deal. Word has it that he is specifically coming to see _you_."

Sirius huffed a sigh and took the bowl and cup from Percy and returned to the cot, set the metal bowl and cup on the floor with a clink, and lay down on the cot with his back to his sentinel.

"Alright Sirius...talk to me!"

"Look at me Percy! Look how thin my hands are! I can only imagine what my face looks like..."

"Well, you've become a bit thin in the skin. I advised you not to go to two meals a day, didn't I?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and glared at him.

Taking the hint, Percy pulled strings so that Sirius was allowed to have a fresh set of garb and a new blanket and pillow for the Minister's tour; they even gave him a haircut and a shave while they had him under a body-bind charm. Unfortunately, his hair grew back over night, but at least it was no longer matted, so he braided it. Percy was only half alarmed when he saw the various tattoos on Black's body. Sirius was no artist, but he was ambidextrous and seeing the tattoos only served to remind the aging sentinel that Black was not a man to be trifled with; the glyphs of protection, truth, honor, respect, swift action, the five elements of air, earth, water, fire and Spirit as well as what looked to be an amalgam of the wolf and the moon (he had no idea what that one was for) had been placed on various parts of his body and one afternoon, Percy entered Sirius' cell to look for anything that he could have created the tattoos with, finding only the bit of metal that he marked the wall with (and he simply couldn't take that away from him)...Percy realized that Black he'd become a hardened man; he rarely joked around any more, usually responding with anger and sarcasm...and Percy felt awful for not being able to make his superiors see what they had done to him...what he had become. Percy explained that during the visit,  his demeanor would have to be professional, but he promised that would protect him from anyone set out to wrong the man further...so that he wouldn't become unnerved or upset...things happened when ever Black was up set...not on purpose, but it only served to further Percy's attempts to keep him as satiated as he was allowed to...he clearly remembered the fire that was set at the end of the corridor...Sirius told him that he was trying to kill the dementors... that he couldn't take it any more...After the fire incident, he realized in the middle of the night when he was lying in bed, that Sirius had made his body a conduit for his magic, much like a human wand...he had never told his superiors about it.

Sirius looked up at the the tick marks that he had made on the wall by his bed...they nearly filled the entire wall all 4300-plus of them...Pithy artwork of boredom, he had called it.

Percy was amazed that Sirius could even tell you what the exact date was as well as the time...

Sirius was awakened when he heard voices headed in his direction. There was no one else in the solitary ward of the prison...only him. Him and six Dementors...and so, he knew that they were coming for him.

Percival stood at the bars. "Up you go, Black. Hands where we can see them."

Sirius sighed from boredom and stood and then rubbed at his left eye with the index finger of his left hand and re-extended it again. "Sorry."

"Face the wall please," he instructed. "And hands up."

Percival fought the grin as Sirius complied and then he unlocked the gate and pushed it to the side and he frowned as Sirius winced at the noise: the Maintenance Team was supposed to oil it so that it wouldn't screech so loudly. 

"Sorry about that Minister! They don't let me out much..."

Sirius' eyes were locked to Fudge's as his body guard moved into the cell before him and nodded that all was clear. Sirius looked to where the young Auror was looking and he raised his brow and tilted his head. 

"No one there besides my ghosts, lad," he said. _Damn, they're pumping them out younger and younger...I'll bet he's fresh out of Hogwarts..._

"How are you, Mister Black," the Minister asked cheerfully.

"As well as can be expected Minister given the circumstances. How are you today?"

"I am well, thank you for asking!"

Sirius nodded. "Oh, that's lovely. Welcome to Chez Noir!" He held out his arms and then he frowned. "Didn't they bring you a chair? I'd offer you one, but as you can see, I'm fresh out...?"

"Oh yes," Fudge chuckled and he stood to the side and another guard brought in a chair for the  older wizard. Fudge sat down and leaned back in the chair. "Sit please?"

Sirius looked behind him: there was only his rickety cot. "Oh yes, thank you..." Sirius tilted his head as the Minister Fudge looked him over.

"I've brought a tea service. Would you fancy a cup of tea, Mister Black? It's about that time you know?"

Sirius' eyes misted over as he nodded, looking toward the lack of shadow on the floor. "Yes, a cup of tea would be...so lovely," he replied in a soft voice. "Thank you," he whispered.

Sirius held on to his cup of tea, even though it was hotter than Hades' fires, as it reminded him that civility was indeed still alive and well in England, as was English hospitality. He eyed the paper than Minister Fudge had lay upon the little table and he asked if he might borrow it: "I used to be a faithful crossword addict in my youth..." he chuckled. "I quite miss it!"

"Oh yes, please!" The older wizard pushed it toward him with his fingers and Sirius picked it up and gently placed it next to him on the cot. He patted it as if instructing it to stay in place, like a beloved pet.

"Have you any questions for me, Mister Black?"

"Yes, actually, I do."

"Yes?"

"My _godson_...How is he," he asked with almost a hint of worry in his voice and in his eyes.

"Godson?"

"Yes...Harry Potter? How is he? His studies? Are they going well? Is he well liked..."

"Oh, Harry! Yes, he's fine. Growing like a weed, isn't he!"

Sirius smiled and nodded is head as he lowered it. "Good. That's good to hear," he said quietly.

"Well, I should be going," Fudge said. "Other... _people_ to see, you understand?"

Sirius looked up and nodded. "Yes, I...I understand. It was good to see you again, Minister."

Fudge was taken aback by Black's last comment, realizing that he did seem to harbor some sort of malice toward him. "Yes, and you as well, Mister Black. Good bye."

"Good bye, Sir." Sirius stood slowly and extended his bony hand. The Minister glanced down at it and felt everyone's eyes on him. He took Black's hand and shook it quickly and released him just as fast.

"Alright Sirius, you know the drill," Percival said quietly and Sirius nodded. He turned his back to the men and placed his hands on the wall as the gate slid open and the men filed out, one by one. "See you at supper time."

"Filet Mignon today, Percy?"

Percival laughed. "I'll see what I can do."

Sirius nodded, eyeing the man from over his shoulder as the gate slid closed and magically locked once more. "Ah, that's grand."

Sirius realized that he still had the tea cup and he grabbed it and shuffled toward the bars and held it out from between the metal poles. "Minister?"

Fudge stopped in his tracks. "Yes, Mister Black?"

"Your tea cup, Sir?"

He chuckled. "Oh yes."

"Put it on the floor," the young Auror spat as he pointed to Sirius with his wand.

"This is fine china you little sprog," Sirius grumbled, staring him down, daring him to make a move with his haunted-looking eyes . "It'll _chip_."

"Show some respect boy...Do _not_ speak to Black in that manner," Percival said clearly as he leaned over the boy's wand and removed the cup from Sirius' hand then all but slammed it into the palm of the young Auror. "Black has always been an exemplary prisoner...except for the fire incident, but that was merely self-preservation. Can't really blame him for that, now can you?"

"I'll have your wand," the young Auror spat.

"I rather doubt that. I outrank you. I will _always_ outrank you." He pointed toward Black. " _And so will he_." He turned his head and winked at Sirius, who's face bore the barely-there hint of a smile. 

It was only then that Sirius realized that he still had allies within the department.

 


	7. Tea in the Sahara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius makes a fateful discovery

After the Minister's visit, I lay down, still tasting the tea on my tongue and felt and heard the crinkle of the folded paper. I arched my back and pulled the paper from beneath me and glanced at the crossword that was located on the back page, then I realized that he had given me his entire paper...I could catch up on the news! I had only heard bits and pieces of current events from the occasional prisoner they'd bring down here to the pit of despair to keep me company...case in point, Barty Crouch Junior...Yet another bloody Death Eater they'd manage to catch.

Still, he was kind enough to fill me in on a few things, wasn't he? But of course he did...he thought I was one of them, didn't he? I found it interesting that Percy's demeanor completely changed...he was cold, unfeeling and uncaring toward me. Of course, he apologized profusely when Crouch was led away to a cell, since he'd apparently learned his lesson. I remember the look on Barty's face... He was happy to be headed somewhere else; anywhere had to be better than The Pit, right? He had no idea...an oubliette would have been far worse...walls of light and air... _no way_ , _thank you very much..._

"When I get out of here," he'd said to me through the bars in a whisper, his fingers clenching tightly to mine, "I'll be sure to tell them that you're still alive and relatively sane...You're a credit to your family, Black! You truly are! We'll see you out of here yet...you'll see..."

I merely stared into his eyes with the hardest stare that I could muster, unnerving him...the man actually shuddered as Percy led him away.

Somehow (I heard that that a year after I managed to free myself) he was found at Hogwarts impersonating Mad Eye...he had bragged to the Dark Lord that I reminded him of the Dark Lord himself...it wasn't until Wormtail had started boasting that he had escaped not only from me, but from _Lupin_...as well...that Barty Junior shut up...apparently Voldemort shut the both up, like little bickering children, who'd been up way past bedtime...I would have liked to have seen that. I was also told by Draco Malfoy, son of my cousin Narsissa, that the old man had remarked that if I could have been turned, I would most likely had been his Lieutenant...he was that impressed with my loyalty to his nemesis and my stamina for survival...

Whoa....what an endorsement...that is what probably clinched my full pardon! So what if it was post mortem...?

But I digress...

When Percy returned with my supper, he brought a warm face cloth so that I could wash my hands of the filth that Crouch had left me with...I chuckled as I gratefully accepted the warm and wet cloth...it felt quite heavenly against my skin.

I looked at the headlines and things looked fairly peaceful, even reading between the lines...I turned the page, continuing a story, learning about a horrific-looking woman named Delores Umbridge, who had been promoted within the Ministry. There were several photos of her, each causing me to feel a bit more nauseous than the one before it. Don't get me wrong, because I know that not everyone is a beauty, but for Merlin's sake...what an _ugly_ woman...I wouldn't let her near me even if she were the very last female on the face of the Earth! And all that PINK? _Eww_....

I turned the page and folded it back to see a large photo of a family of gingers placed before the Pyramids of Giza... _the Weasleys!_ I felt my mood brighten considerably at having seen their kids nearly grown...and they finally had a daughter! I read the caption below the photo and read their names. I was so happy for them! And then, I felt the frigid air on my skin...soon, my breath puffed from my mouth as I tested the air... _they were close_.

I prepared myself and transformed into Padfoot and crawled beneath the cot to hide, keeping myself as still as I possibly could.

One had entered the cell and searched high and low for me...and then left me alone...then another one tried, and then another one...it felt like an eternity, even for Padfoot, who has no real understanding of the passage of time...

When I was certain they were finally gone, I transformed into myself and picked up the paper again and continued with the small write up about my old friends...I looked at the photo, at the smiling faces, their waving hands, when I happened to catch something a little odd...I saw that the youngest boy, I looked again and read that his name is Ronald, had something in his one hand as he waved to the camera with the other...It was a small animal...some kind of rodent...I looked closer.

Was that... _a rat?_

I looked even closer and felt that within an instant, I was unable to breathe...that wasn't just _any_ rat...it was...no way...

" _WORMTAIL!_ "

I looked at the boy again and remembered that he was Molly's youngest child the last time I saw her...that meant that he was Harry's age...The Weasleys are all Gryffindors...always have been, always will be...And I was fairly certain that Harry would be a Gryffie as well...he just had to be!

"He's at Hogwarts..." I murmured to myself..."How fortuitous..."

It was the fire that I needed to put me into action...If I was going to rot in Chez Azkaban, then I was going to damned well deserve to...to kill him would make all of this worthwhile...I would exact my revenge and avenge James, Lily and all those poor souls who died that afternoon!

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good..." I said out loud to myself, smiling with glee.

Then, I felt my grin growing on my face.

And I heard my laughter...and it frightened me, the maniacal sound of it all.

But I didn't care.

Pettegrew was a dead man.

_He just didn't know it yet..._

 


	8. Dreaming of Ally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius dreams...

Sirius lay on his rickety cot, sleeping just deep enough to dream...

_Sitting at the kitchen table, she sipped on the mint julep as she collected her thoughts, aware that Remus was staring at the ring on her finger with curiosity...Sirius said that he had a surprise for them, Remus had attempted to call him out on it, still Sirius refused to respond...only replied by grinning. The last time they'd seen Ally, she was fifteen, full of fire, piss and vinegar with just a touch of honey, just like Sirius was. She was angry and entirely heartbroken, her parents having been killed in the line of duty and were buried with top honors and as a result, she'd been sent to live with her aging Great Grandmother who lived in the Island city of Portsmouth. The handsome animagus had taken quite a shine to her...why, was anyone's guess...they were oil and vinegar together, always bickering and sometimes, even arguing about trivial things, blowing things up in their wake, frightening the hell out of everyone, including James and Remus. Sirius however, continued to butt heads with the girl...he called it foreplay...._

_And so, following in her parents' footsteps, she was now an Auror First Class had just stepped on terra firma in London to begin a new chapter in her life...as wife and partner to Sirius Black, Auror First Class._

_"We've a pool in the back if you want to take a dip," Lily had said as she rubbed at her swollen belly with one hand and fanning herself with the other._

_Ally, still in her suit, looking quite professional, nodded. it was easy to see that she was tired from her long flight, but her body hummed with anticipation. "At least I can cool off a little bit, I reckon?"_

_Lily smiled and nodded. "I reckon so?"_

_When she left the kitchen to head upstairs to the top most floor of the Potter house, did she wonder why she was put upstairs until she opened the wrong door and was met with a room that looked like a hurricane had passed through it. The rest of the entire house was immaculate, but not this room. Upon closer inspection, she eyed a collection of framed photographs sitting precariously upon a tall chest of drawers. She stepped over clothing, a quiver of arrows and a bow that was half hidden beneath the bed. She looked at the photographs and then she realized: this is Sirius' room...and he hadn't been here i_ _n_ _quite some time. Her eyes had scanned most of the photos, but her attention was ripped away as she heard gentle laughter coming from downstairs: James had arrived home...she couldn't wait to see him: he had been the one who had actually friended her first, taking her under his wing...She used his Quiddich moves when it was her turn to Captain the Gryffindor team...and then he had introduced her to Sirius and everyone thought they hit it off straight away...they'd never seen him so affectionate with anyone except them...it nearly killed him when he did the math and realized that there was two years between them...Patience was not his forte._

_She left Sirius' room and crossed_ _the landing to_ _the_ _other_ _room and shook her head...Lily had put her in that room on purpose, she just knew it. As a junior Auror for MACUSA and while she was proud of her position within her native government, she missed her friends, even though she hadn't seen them in years...it had been far too long._

_She removed her shoes, pantsuit and underwear and donned her bathing suit_ _and thought about going back to his room again to tidy it up_ _._ _She thought of her h_ _er English friend_ _Katie,_ _who worked as a liaison between the British and American Intelligence offices_ _. It was Katie who had_ _picked it out for her; a white barely there two piece_ _bathing suit_ _that showed off Ally's curves, telling her that he would love it, for about ten seconds, until he ripped it off of her and so, that's why the strings..."easy access" she had said...Katie had learned over drinks that she had a thing for a boy she knew at Hogwarts...when asked if they actually dated, she shook her head, telling her friend that there was a few years between them. It was the look on Ally's face and the sad tone of her voice that clinched it for the older woman...her little Ally had been in love with the boy from Hogwarts and from what she had learned, he rather fancied her too...of course, she was all too aware of the notorious Black family and how ickle Sirius was the "white sheep," so to speak...Katie had felt so strongly about this girl and Black and she put in a good word and had her transferred to the British Ministry of Magic's Auror Department._

_Ally then caught a glimpse of a memory that she thought she'd seen preserved on film and walked across the landing to Sirius' room. She tiptoed over the strewn mess on the floor, picking things up as she moved through it; she knew_ _that_ _he was messy, but good lord! She placed the clothing in a basket that was in the corner of the room and waved her hand and watched the fitted sheet righten itself and the duvet pull up and tuck beneath the many pillows. She returned her attention to the photographs: he'd been holding her hands in his and his brow was to hers, her lips pursed tightly together so that she wouldn't cry in front of him...His voice was but a feathery whisper and she had to strain to hear him; he'd write when he could; he'd be deep undercover, she knew that. She also knew that she'd be busy training and hadn't he made sure that she'd have a leg up on the rest of the neophytes? Then he kissed her goodbye and she thought she would melt in his arms...neither wanted to let the other go...She had seen him in France not too long ago, each traveling to France to rid Paris of a particularly_ _rough faction of French Death Eaters...Each needing partners, they quickly converged, moving as one well-oiled machine...and best of all, their superiors noticed...He had rang James up and told him that she was there and that he didn't want to leave her...James teased that he ought to marry her while he had the chance._

_Her eyes lost focus when she heard the low rumble of a growling engine in the distance. She looked out the window and saw him, his black auror's coat flying behind him like the cape of a super hero...he had come to the Potter's directly from work. She placed her hand on the glass, wishing that it wasn't there. He arrived only moments later, removed his gloves and helmet and looked up to see that she was still standing at one of the windows of his bedroom...in her underwear? Wasn't she too old for white bras and knickers? He chuckled to himself...How fortuitous, he thought and he grinned as he lowered his sunglasses, making her aware that her presence_ _ had _ _indeed been noticed..._

_He entered the house and made his way to the stairs quickly, his boots stomping on the stairs two, sometimes three at a time, as he ran up three flights. Making his way to the fourth flight, he grabbed at the banister and held on, catching his breath as he looked up to see her standing on the landing, her curves perfectly silhouetted in the darkness, the only light source was the one window that he had seen her at._

_He pulled himself up the stairs, nearly exhausted._

_When he reached her, his face was perfectly aligned with hers and she felt his heavy breathing from physical exertion, or perhaps it was from him wanting her..._

_"Hello Misses Black," he murmured, right before his lips met with hers, pushing her toward the open door, pulling at the strings of what he had only just realized wasn't underwear at all. He closed his eyes feeling her bare flesh beneath his hands and the taste of her lips on his..._

_"Hiya Mister Black," she replied. "Better batten down the hatches, matey," she teased between kisses as she pulled his heavy trench coat from his broad shoulders, then moved to the buttons of his waistcoat and then his shirt._

_Sirius had picked her up and carried her to his bed and lay her down; he stood gazing down at the petite brunette as he pulled his shirt off of his torso. She sat up, her fingers working the belt buckle and then then the fly as he kicked off his boots. The trousers fell to the floor and he jumped on the bed, taking her into his arms..._

Sirius opened his eyes and realized he was staring into the faceless presence of a dementor and he pushed at it. " _FUCK YOU_ ," he growled.

Ally's voice filled his head as he struggled not to see her face, her eyes accusing him of the worst... _"Jeeeezuz, Siri! You let that ratfink fucking murder me and a shit-ton of other people...what the hell are you going to do now...how the hell are you gonna top this one, huh? It had better be good, that's all I have to say about it!"_

Sirius' nightmares were brought to the forefront...the loss of his best friend _..._ no, his brother...and their Sweet Lily...and the icing on the proverbial cake...his wife, his beautiful, sweet and sassy Allison...They were still newly weds, weren't they!

 _Why had I schooled her so hard in tracking? If she hadn't been an Auror at all, she'd still be alive_...he remembered her face clearly as she made her way across the street to where he and Peter were arguing...they both had seen her...He clearly remembered Peter doting on her while they were at school... _why did he kill her...does he hate me that much_? _Or did he love her that much that he couldn't bare to see her with me?_

_"I wish I never married you...no, scratch that! I wish I never MET you! I hate you...you BETRAYED ME. YOU BETRAYED US ALL!"_

_The powers that be have no answers...Peter can't tell them why he did it...Because he's_ _ dead _ _!_

_Expired._

_He kicked the bucket._

_Had lunch with the Grim Reaper and forgot to pick up the tab..._

Only...Peter Pettigrew is not dead...the fucking coward...He's out running around free and I'm rotting in this hell hole...just rotting...but more than that and best of all...oh...it's the prank of all time, isn't it...and for once, I didn't fucking have anything to do with it!

For once in my life, I am NOT GUILTY!

Wonder how many points Minnie will take from Gryffindor for _this_ stunt....

But...and this is the absolute very best part...

 _He's_ _at_ _Hogwarts_ _....ooooh, yes he is...but not for long..._

I wonder if he remembers that I don't need a wand to kill him...

 


	9. I Feel Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius checks out of Chez Azkaban

I had made up my mind. I would be checking out of Chez Azkaban soon...my tab had been long paid for, hadn't it?

Apparently, someone had seen a particular look on Percy's face when he returned to the offices and soon, he was being accompanied during every visit...be it meal time or otherwise. Sometimes, they'd  even show up unaccompanied...bed checks, they called it.

That's when I realized that something had changed...

I wasn't aware that I'd been talking in my sleep..." _He's at Hogwarts_..."

Getting to Pettigrew had become nothing short of an obsession.

I looked to the clock on the floor and noted the times they would show up; stupid of them to keep their visits like clockwork. I figured that I had three areas of opportunity to escape, the best being just after the last bed check of the night, which I think was around ten, or perhaps eleven. I made my move. I looked through the bars and found myself face to face with a dementor. I grinned, and raised two fingers in it's face.

"Been nice knowin' ya, mates! Hope I never see your lot again..."

I transformed before it could grab at me and slipped easily through the bars...I was dismayed that I had become so thin and that it had taken me so long.

I sniffed at the air and listened hard as I padded through the corridors. I materialized at the closed the door. I turned around, looked to the dementors one last time as they advanced toward me one last time. "Fuck you," I said. "Fuck you all!"

It was time to do or die trying...my hand reached for the door handle and I was amazed to learn that the door was unlocked...was it by mistake? Or possibly, it was _Percy?_ I didn't know and I didn't care. I opened the door, slipped through and closed the door behind me, watching through the window at the dementors advancing toward me until I could no longer see them from the frost and ice on the window. " _Au revoir mes amis_ ," I said gleefully, then transformed back into Padfoot and continued on my way up a flight of stairs that seemed to go on forever, winding up and up. 

As a side note, I've no idea what I would have done had the door not been unlocked, but hind sight being what it is, transforming into Padfoot had been the wise course of action...but Merlin's Beard, how they terrified me...

I stopped in my tracks when I thought I heard someone headed my way. I looked down the corridor and then to the left and to the right. The only places where I could hide was to slip into would have been the occupied cell of another prisoner. I'll be damned if I was going to do that...no way! I stood perfectly still and leaned on the wall and closed my eyes... _Padfoot logic...If I can't see you, then you can't see me..._

I felt and heard the guard pass by me.

And then as I turned my head to look at him, he had started swinging a lanyard by his side. At the end of that lanyard, was the key to the Pit and I realized....It _had_ been Percy...and he was whistling a tune that I found familiar... _I Feel Free_ , by Creme...it had been a favorite song of Lily's.

He let me go...

The pads on my paws were cold and even though I was hungry, I kept going, knowing that I'd be able to hunt once I made it to the main land. I was able to smell the salt water and headed for it, passing several occupied cells along the way...then I heard a woman gasp...I stopped, turned my head and sniffed the air...I knew that smell and it sickened me.

"Come here puppy," she said. I almost walked over the bars, but heard a sharp whistle in my head... _James' call for Padfoot_...And then, I saw her.

_Bellatrix...._

I stared at her, as well as her arms outstretched beyond the bars, the Dark Mark clearly visible. I growled and snapped. "Bloody, fucking mongrel..." 

I continued on my way. 

"Mangy cur!"

Finally I came to the window at the end of the corridor trying to block out her maniacal rambling...I had to transform into my human form to climb the wall...there was a possibility of me jumping instead of climbing down to the rocks...

I decided to climb down...it was only about ten or so feet...I was so glad that I didn't transform back into Padfoot because the rocks out the prison were sharp like glass and the pretty much cut through the sandals. I felt my toes touch the waters' edge just as a dementor sensed that I was down there. I waded into the freezing water and transformed in the Grim just before it got to me. I got lucky with that one... _sooooo luck_ y....

Since I had no fat layer, it was difficult to float, let alone swim...I paddled my paws as fast as I could, taking in water since I had gone beneath the water's surface several times. But I had to get to land...I had to survive...I had to protect Harry and exact my revenge...I prayed that I was headed in the right direction, lest I find myself in Norway.

It felt like...an eternity. In my head, I continued to see James' face and hear his voice urging me on... _James was with me...guiding me!_ I knew that I would prevail.

Soon though, I saw a light, and headed straight for it...a lighthouse? Someone's home? No, it was a simple street lamp. I was closer than I had thought! I lay on the rocky beach for hours, I think. Finally I managed to climb up and saw a lone car parked at the edge of a cul-de-sac...a pair of teenagers, enjoying some "private" time alone. I hated to intrude, I really did...but I was desperate!

I barked and whined until I saw a young man's head raise up and look at me through the window. Finally, a girl poked her head up and she exclaimed, what a poor thing I was! I watched the boy roll his eyes and shake his head.

Soon, my head was in her lap as she sat in the back seat. They went to a McDonalds of all places and got me a cheeseburger and some fresh water...It was the BEST THING I had EVER eaten, I swear it was! I learned via their conversation, that her name was Susan and that his was Ian. Ian dropped us off and he and Susan carried me into her home on a makeshift stretcher from a blanket...it was quite fortunate that her father happened to be a veterinarian...She got in trouble for having gone parking when they were supposed to have been at the late-show cinema, but I was placed on a warm blanket and I remember yelping when a needle was placed at the back of my neck, but then I felt warm fluid course throughout my body. Soon, I was asleep. 

I had awakened in a completely different place to a man gazing down at me...Doctor Montgomery. His voice was kind and his eyes were kinder still. He listened to my heartbeat and told his nurse that there was water in my lungs...If they didn't get it out, I might still end up drowning. _I'd wound up in an animal hospital._

I tried desperately not to react; as a man, I could stand on my hands and let gravity do the work, but as a dog...?

I woke up later that afternoon with a sore throat and a tube attached to my leg, as well as one in my private parts...Good thing that I was knocked out because I don't think I'd have let him near me with those things...I lay in the man's office, in a wire cage for a week drinking broth, as much as I wanted and could tolerate. Soon though, I was noshing on kibble and gravy...It was so good...

Susan Montgomery came by to see me after she had finished working one afternoon. I lifted my head up and looked into her eyes. She smiled at me.

"Hullo Doggie," she whispered. "I'm so happy that you're going to be alright!" She opened the door to the cage and let me out, marveling at my size, as she knelt down on her knees, reaching her hands out to me...she'd never seen a dog as large as Padfoot! It felt so good to have someone touch me...just the touch of her hands helped me so much to bring me into the here and now...I've no idea if she realized how much.

Then, she took out a brush from a drawer and put it to my fur...I've always loved to have a pretty girl play with my hair and I swear, if I had been a cat, I'd have been purring.

"Daddy, come look..."

"Well," he said. "I'm happy to see that you're up and about!"

I sat on my haunches and offered him my paw. 

He remained standing and just continued to look at me. "You don't have to be nervous, Pup. No one's going to hurt you..."

How did he know that I was nervous? I mean, one minute, there's this pretty girl, with her hands all over me and the next thing, I'm being stared at my her Dad...what's there to be nervous about? Right?

"Any identification, Suzy?"

"No Daddy. No identification at all. Nothing that I can see anyway?"

"I wonder if he's chipped?"

"I can go get the scanner from Millie..."

Doctor Montgomery nodded. "Please?"

"Right!"

Susan left the room as the Doctor listened to my lungs again and smiled. "All clear, Pup," he said in a low voice. He'd taken to searching my fur, knowing what to look for, I reckon, and saw the many tattoos on my skin, but obviously, he couldn't make them out. He removed an electric shaver from a drawer and plugged it into a wall socket and approached me...I couldn't let him see the magical tattoos...It didn't matter if he knew what they meant or not!

I lowered my head, backed away and growled. And when Susan returned with something in her hand, I made a break for it and bolted out the door. Of course, they gave chase through the hospital and since it was apparently my lucky day, a client with a sick cat was entering the hospital and left me enough room to squeeze through the barely opened door. I took off, hearing the girl's voice calling after me, begging for my return. _Sorry love...I'll never forget you though_.

By sunset, I found myself walking along a double lane heading south. There was a treeline to my right and at least a hundred foot drop off to my left, at least, that's how it seemed and it was then that I realized...I was at Loch Ness.

 


	10. Little Whinging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padfoot searches for Harry and it leads him to a couple of special someones...

It took me days to arrive in Little Winging. I milled about Privet Drive, hoping to catch a glimpse of Harry, but I didn't see anyone who I thought even remotely looked like what I imagined him to look like.

Until one night.

It too me days to arrive in Little Winging. I milled about Privet Drive, hoping to catch a glimpse of Harry, but I didn't see anyone who I thought even remotely looked like what I imagined him to look like.

Until one night.

I had heard a woman screaming and being the nosey sort, I followed the sound...only, something was odd...the screaming wasn't coming from a house, or a car, or even the streets; it was coming from the sky! I looked up and saw a very large woman floating in the air and I'm sorry, but had I been in my human form, I would have laughed my arse off...it was that funny. I felt bad for having wanted to laugh, but still. I listened to her words..."Help me Vernon..."

 _Vernon_. Lily's brother in law's name is Vernon...This meant that Harry was at home! Oh, I couldn't be this lucky twice in one week! I continued onward to Privet Drive. Once I found the street, I sort of hung around the lamp post on the corner. I could still hear the woman's shrill cries, but I could no longer see her.

Soon, I watched a skinny boy, with dark hair and glasses bolt out of the front door of number four, pulling along a trunk, magically slamming the door behind him; looked at the trunk and saw the initials, "H.J.P."

 _It was Harry_...I felt myself whining with longing to hold the boy in my arms and tell him everything...But I couldn't very well do that now, could I? No doubt the Powers That Be would have painted a very negative picture of me, if he even knew anything about me at all.

Still, I couldn't let that stop me. Nope. No way. Not gonna happen.

I followed him to the park where he sat down on the curbing. I sniffed at the air as I was downwind of him...he smelled like an amalgam of James and Lily both...It was all I could do not to tackle him right then and there and lick his face for an hour!

I had meant to whine, but it came out a little more harsher than I had wanted...more like a growl, actually. Harry looked up, then stood up at having seen the very large and probably menacing-looking, Padfoot. He drew out his wand and two seconds later, the Knight Bus arrived. I clearly remembered rolling my eyes and huffing. There was no way that they were going to let me on to that huge monstrosity of a vehicle unless I were tethered to Harry...I backed up into the shrubbery and hid myself. I heard some one named Stan Shunpike talking to him and moments later, Harry was on the bus. Oh well. At least I knew that Harry was relatively alright; he was in one piece and while he seemed a little skinny, he seemed to be alright...pissed off as hell, but alright. After all, a little righteous anger never hurt anybody, unless they were on the receiving end of it and I thought of the floating woman and grinned. Knowing that that he was in one piece, made all the difference in the world to me...I could concentrate on finding the Ratfink.

I wasn't until I was sitting before a small fire in the woods a little north of London, did it occur to me: what the hell was he doing out at that hour, alone and with his school trunk?

I then realized that I had completely lost track of time...The new term would be starting soon...I had to get to Hogwarts. I ate my charred rabbit that I had caught by the little fire that I had made and found some low lying shrubbery to lay beneath, transformed into Padfoot and fell asleep.

______

In the morning, I began my trek north toward Hogwarts. I figured that I really didn't have a whole lot of time to try and beat the student body there, and I really wanted the upper hand...I wanted to be waiting in the Third Year Boy's dorm room. If I didn't make it, then that would severely curtail my gaining entrance to the castle, much less the Gryffindor Tower.

So I ran. And I ran as hard and fast as I could as if my very life depended on it.

And it rather did, didn't it?

I ran across highways, and farms and fields, past cars, people, sheep...LOTS of bleedin' sheep...I remembered riding the bike and having to stop while mammoth herds of sheep crossed the roads...what a pain! 

In two day's time, I was staring at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And I realized that there were far too many people milling about in the tiny village of Hogsmeade.

I had missed my window of opportunity. Damn. I trotted back toward the main street, I saw three people dressed in Quidditch garb walking down the middle of the street, brooms slung over their shoulders. I recognized the uniform that the woman was wearing...my favorite team, The Kenmare Kestrals...the Irish team...I think Ally had a lot to do with that; her father played Chaser for them. I trotted down the hill and stopped...my nose catching something utterly familiar...and it wasn't the beef pasty she was noshing on, although it too smelled wonderful.

I turned around and trotted past the trio and sniffed again and whined as I stopped and moved to block their path. It. Was. Her! My sweet little Ally....

She wasn't dead at all!

I was so confused...I had clearly seen her slain, her body or what was left of it, flying up into the air and returning back to terra firma with a thud and a light bounce...

The woman stopped in her tracks and she held her breakfast a little higher in the air.

"Look at that scruffy thing! He's so skinny," the one man said with alarm.

"Probably been out of doors forever," the other male said.

I approached the woman and sniffed at her private area...it's the best place to make a good sniff for the purposes of identification. She rolled her eyes and broke off a piece of her pasty and held it down toward me. I took it as gently as I could and I licked her hand as I offered my paw. I watched her eyes grow misty and I whined.

"What's the matter Rogers," the second man asked her.

She smiled and shook her head. "Nothing. Come on, before we're late," she said.

Her powdery voice still had that slight Irish accent. And she was still as pretty as ever, only with a lot more curves...she looked amazing!

I followed her and her mates to the castle. I remembered why they might have a reason to travel to the school...to gain recruits for the Professional British and Irish League. I remember them sending three members to talk to us when I was on the Gryffindor team...I almost joined them...had there not been a war, I would have never had to set foot in Chez Azkaban, for I'd have been a professional beater...hopefully, she would have been by my side...I really did have a major crush on her while we attended Hogwarts; I think she had a thing for James though...they were always together it seemed...

My memories are apparently a bit foggy...

I walked behind them and noticed that she would occasionally look behind her. Sometimes the men would. "Yeah, the pooch is still behind us. Looks like you might have a flatmate when you get back to London, Rogers!"

I listened to their little talk and looked out toward the Gryffindor team...and low and behold but who do I see sitting on the bottom riser in a quidditch uniform...number seven, HARRY POTTER!

James would have been _SO_ _PROUD_ of his little Prongslette!!

I barked out loud by accident, catching the glance of one Remus Lupin as he immediately withdrew his wand. He casually approached my position and I crossed the pitch and put my head in Harry's lap and he stopped in his tracks and merely stared at us. Ally saw us as well and as she had a clear view of Harry and me, she followed my gaze to Remus and a scowl fell across her pretty face.

"Hey Dog," Harry said jovially as he scratched my ears.

I was elated that he seemed far happier than when I'd seen him in Surrey!

I licked at Harry hands and his face and let the other students pet me. But when I saw Remus continue to advance, I ducked out of there as fast as I could, leaving my godson and best girl behind.

I waited at the very entrance to the quidditch pitch behind the risers to await the trio and whined when I heard her voice and crawled from beneath the risers.

"Looks like you've got yourself a dog, Darling," the one man had said.

"So it seems."

When they split up, I then followed her to the train station.

"Come on, Padfoot," she had said to me in that powdery voice of hers. "Let's go home."

If dogs can cry from happiness, then that's what I was doing... _profusely_.

 

 


	11. Allison Rogers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius goes home with Ally

I slept at Allison's feet on the train. She had changed her clothes right there in the compartment. I'd never seen the girl naked, or nearly naked and to be quite honest (the closest was a harmless panty raid of the girl's showers; she was in her underwear scowling, pointing toward the door...so what if she was two years my junior?), it was like a dream come true for me.

I followed her up the stairs to her building; she pressed a series of buttons and the door unlocked. She opened the door and looked down at me. "Come on Goofy, we're _home_."

I knew that I was grinning and my tail swished back and forth at mach speed; I was happier than a piglet in shite! I entered through the door and she followed closely behind me. She started up the staircase, withdrawing a key from her handbag...where the hell she had stowed the bag that she produced, I've no idea. But then, she is a witch...she probably minimized it and placed it in her bra or something? Anyway, I digress. We walked up three flights of stairs to the top most floor. She put the key into the lock and waved her right hand as her left hand moved to the back of my head, scratching at the back of my ears. The door opened and she walked in and waved me in. I padded across the threshold and the door closed, magically locking behind me.

"I wonder if Remus will say something to Dumbledore? What do you think?"

Hearing Remus' name made me realize that I had to get back to the school...I could tell him everything and I'd have my upper hand that I so desperately needed. I pranced in place and whined.

"You've got to be kidding me! We were just outside, Goofy!"

I sneezed, my entire head shaking; I shook out my fur and continued to prance in place.

"Merlin's pants, Goofy...alright! Don't you dare pee on my floor! Stay right there!" I sat on my haunches and watched her walk into the small kitchen. She returned with a bit of thin rope and noosed it around my neck. "Come on..."

She led me back outside and I tried to get away, but she had placed a charm on the rope apparently, because I was unable to free myself and ended up pulling on her so hard that I think I had hurt her.

"SIRIUS _STOP!_ "

I halted at once, hearing my name. I knew by the tone of her voice that I was swimming in deep kimchi. She then let me have it, standing before me, yelling at the top of her lungs...the few people who had passed on on the walk way, stared, but apparently, she didn't care. It took every once of self control not to transform and engage her.

When I realized that she was merely stating her frustrations and fears that I felt my hackles return to normal and I had unpinned my ears, turned and returned toward the direction of her flat.

As soon as she placed her handbag on her kitchen table, she turned around, and I transformed into my human form; I wanted to tell her what happened and how I suffered...and why I checked out of Chez Azkaban like I did. I watched her eyes widen and as she reached for me; I found that I couldn't move fast enough as she fell to the floor, but I at least managed to keep her head from hitting the hard wood floor.

_She had fainted at the sight of me and I felt inconsolable._

I picked her up effortlessly; she was still as light as a little baby bird. I lay her on her sofa and knelt down beside her and reached my hand out to smooth her hair back from her face and apologized. "I'm so sorry Di. I must look a fright..." It was then that I realized that I had no idea what I looked like. I found her bathroom and took a look at my reflection and half expected the mirror to shatter in my face. No wonder she had fainted: I was horribly thin and the circles under my eyes were as dark as my hair...I looked like a bleeding vampire. Had it not have for the Doc, I would have looked far worse! I ate very well there...which reminded me... _I was hungry_.

I looked through her cupboards and found a tin of soup and prepared two bowls: one for her and one for myself. I continued to look for something to drink and the only thing besides milk in the ice box, was a few bottles of cheap ale.

I chose the ale...it was awful! But hell, it was ale and I felt drunk almost as soon as the liquid touched my lips. I ate as much of the soup as I could, which wasn't much...It filled me up quickly. I went back to the sofa and and kissed her nose, then transformed into Padfoot and lay on the floor as close as I could to her.

When she  woke up, she sat up and rubbed at her eyes and face and looked around. She got to her feet, which cause me to get to mine quickly and she fell back to the sofa. She patted the cushion next to her and I hopped up and she threw her arms around my neck and wept, much like I had done in what felt to me like another lifetime ago.

Finally, she rose from the sofa and looked toward the table. "Didn't like the soup, huh?"

I rolled my eyes and hopped off the sofa and lay down on the floor again. She sat back down and ran her fingers through my fur and I closed my eyes and fell asleep at her feet.

Sometime during the night, I had transformed into me and walked through her little flat and had a look around. She had a sky light which she had opened up to let fresh air in. I heard a tiny huff from above my head and looked up to see a solid black cat staring down at me...was that her kitty Isis? It could have been...she'd have been really old though...

I found her bedroom and looked in on her; she was laying atop her duvet in a tee shirt and knickers. The light from street lamps barely illuminating her body as well as the rest of the room. I approached her and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You smell like wet dog, Black," she murmured.

She was awake...I should have known.

"Still having trouble sleeping?"

"When I'm bothered, yeah," she replied.

I nodded.

"Go get a shower and come to bed. I'd imagine that you need some rest, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"M'Da put me on holiday since I went on recruitment duty for him. So, I've the next three weeks off. We can talk in the morning, alright?"

"Right," I whispered.

I left her room and walked across the tiny corridor to the bathroom, removed my clothes and stepped into the shower. It was the best I'd felt in a decade. 

I have to be truthful when I say that I had hoped that she'd make me feel even better than that, some time during the night...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo.....what do you think? Leave me a note in the comments please! Thanks!


	12. Coffee, Tea, or Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a little friendly banter between mates...and bunny house shoes?

I woke up to music playing from the living room as well as her voice raised in song and I wondered if I'd remembered correctly that she could dance, because nothing else that I had taken for granted was correct. I found her house coat and slipping my arms into it, I realized just how much weight I had lost; it was a good fit...too good. I sighed and cinched it at the waist. She had a full length mirror in the corner of her bedroom and I caught sight of my reflection and laughed...Me in a fuzzy pale blue housecoat...all I needed were those fuzzy bunny house shoes to complete my ensemble. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"She's gonna laugh," I said to myself.

And she did. Loud and hard, although I think she really tried not to. She finally clamped her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes as she shook her head. "Hey, you want to borrow these," she asked as she held out her left foot and wiggled it. Those obnoxious large bunny ears flopping back and forth with it's big brown eyes staring at me...No. Just...no. 

"Just get it out of your system," I told her, nodding.

"Oh, I wish I had a camera," she said. "The great Sirius Black in Bunny Eared house shoes!"

"I'm rather happy that you don't," I replied with disdain; I could feel the scowl on my face, the roll of my slitted eyes and cluck on my tongue...Oh, this felt so good, our banter! Just like old times...

She giggled again and walked into the kitchen and withdrew a cup from her dish drainer. "Care for a cuppa, Mister Black?"

"Please," I replied drolly.

She poured a hot cup of coffee from her percolator and placed it before me as she sat down and noshed on a piece of toast. "Are you hungry?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

"Well you need to eat something. We gotta fatten you up, Mister Goofy-man!" She held out a slice of toast out to me and then pulled it away as I reached for it. Then she tried to hide a glorious smile. I tried like hell to appear as miffed as I could, but she saw right through me...It was a grand reversal of the pranks I used to play on her almost daily. I smiled and nodded.

"Right, I've got it coming. I get it, love."

"Aww, I just had to...just once. _Just once_..."

I raised my brow and nodded. "Mmhm." I reached for the cup of coffee and picked it up and smelled it; it smelled wonderful! I brought it to my lips and took a tiny sip...I knew it would be hot and it was. I didn't care. I held it in my mouth for a moment before swallowing it and then I felt it course through my body to my stomach.

"You really should eat some toast or something. Would you like to try some eggs?"

I grimaced and shook my head.

"I can make you some mashed potatoes if you like? Your stomach should be able to handle that? Or perhaps some jelly? I'd have to make it, and it would have to set, but..."

I held up my hands. "Ally, it's alright. I hope that you understand that I can't stay. I have to get back..."

"Back, where!"

"To Hogwarts," I replied.

"What the hell for! They're _looking_ for you there!"

"I know that. _Harry's_ there..."

"I'm aware of that," she said. "And he has Dumbledore there to keep watch and Remus is there as well, so what?"

"You don't understand," I said.

"Then help me to understand Sirius! Damn it all to hell! You haven't changed at all!"

I sat back in my chair and chuckled and sipped on my coffee again, glancing a the morning edition of the Daily Prophet.

"What's so damned funny?"

"We're fighting. Over nothing. Just like we used to."

"No, that wasn't me."

"I beg to differ," I replied stiffly.

"We didn't _fight_."

"Oh? Am I remembering someone else, then?"

She paused for a moment as if she had to think about it. "No. But we didn't _fight_."

"Oh."

"We had bouts of _disagreement_."

I nodded. "Mmm."

"Rather loud ones as I recall," she chuckled.

I grinned finally. "Aha!"

"Oh shut up," she grumbled.

"Make me," I said, looking deep into her eyes.

"Oh, I'd bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

I felt my brows raised as I leaned in. "I would, yes. Very much."

She sat back in her chair and stared at me.

I sat back in mine. "Ohhh. You're _with_ someone."

She tiled her head and shook it. "No."

"No?"

"Mm mm."

I nodded. "Why then?"

"You really want a mercy shag? Come on, that's not your style, is it?"

I shook my head. "No. You're right, it's not."

"Besides, I might _hurt_ you," she said, pursing her lips as her brow arched high.

I looked away. "Ohhh...." I looked at her again to find that she hadn't looked away.

"Yeah, a stiff wind might break you..."

"Knock it off Rogers," I groaned.

"Okay, okay...I'll _behave_."

"Can we at least cuddle as mates then? You know, like we used to?"

She rose from her chair and wrapped her arms around my head and patted my long hair. "Oh Darling...you're so pitiful, I can't stand it! _FINE!_ We can cuddle as mates..."

I smiled and nodded my head. It was better than nothing...She was my favorite cuddle-buddy...her boobies always made really nice pillows. I remember falling asleep in her arms late one night when she couldn't sleep beneath a crocheted afghan...James and Remus said that they stared at us for several minutes before braving the inevitable and pulling the afghan from our entwined bodies, fully expecting us both to be naked beneath. Sorry to disappoint you, guys...

After a breakfast of mashed potatoes with a little bit of scrambled egg, a piece of nearly dry toast and a half cup of coffee, she patted the spot next to her on the sofa; she had a photo album in her hands as well as several year books from school. "Come sit with me?"

How could I say no...Her sitting on her sofa, cross-legged with those obnoxious bunny house shoes poking out? I nodded and walked the few feet to sit beside her. I slid my arm behind her and she scooted in closer and opened up the photo album: Quidditch photos...James and me in mock aerial combat prior to the game...we were showboating for her Dad who'd come out to watch our game against Slytherin...He'd spent the entire day with us. We won, of course...it was a glorious day!

He had taken a really good photo of her catching the snitch. The steely determination on her face as she reached for it, half of her pony tail trailing behind her, the sun catching the thick strands, burning them a fiery-red color; she practically willing the snitch to her opened hand and outstretched fingers. I was feeling those fingers gently rubbing on the inside of my thigh and I breathed in deeply.

I decided right then that I really fancied the grown up version of Ally.

I could only imagine what James would have said: _"What the hell are you waiting for man? Just marry the girl and be done with it, already!"_

_Yes James, you're right as usual, mate...but no can do, mate...she deserves far_ _ better  _ _than me and you know it._

"What are you thinking about?"

I realized that she was staring at me as I gazed at the photo of James, Lily, Remus, Peter and myself on the pitch, our brooms speeding by the camera...we didn't have a care in the world that day except our defeat of Slytherin...if only life was really that easy...

She sighed and nodded. "I miss them too," she whispered as she wiped at the wetness on my cheeks with her thumb and fingers.

 


	13. Sneakin...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius Black...he's hidden somewhere...inside the castle...

I spent the week with Ally and regained my strength. Leaving, nearly killed me...She begged to accompany me as she watched me map out the particular activities that I needed to accomplish so that I could get to Wormtail. She mentioned talking to Remus, Minerva and Dumbledore herself. I threatened to never see her again if she went to them...it was a deal breaker. She said that I was acting like a kid, pitching a fit like that. I told her to look in the mirror.

I hate that people worry about me...it feels like they don't believe in my capabilities as a wizard and a man. I didn't know any better. She gave me her father's pen knife for "just in case," she had said. I looked at it; I couldn't imagine what the hell I would need it for...it was no good as a weapon.

I slept on the sofa the last night and left in the middle of the night, letting myself out; it was easy with no one around.

In two and a half days, I was trotting through Hogsmeade again, heading up toward the castle. Rosemerta of all people saw me in the middle of the High Street and she watched me with curious eyes, shaking her head. Perhaps she thought that I belonged to a first year or something? I've no idea? I didn't stick around to find out.

The first hurdle was Hagrid, who was on his nightly rounds. I got past him easily enough after I let him feed me; he always had the best bits of raw meat available. I slept on his kitchen floor and let myself out of his hut.

I trotted past the whomping willow, as it swung it's branches at me a bit. I belly-crawled past the tree and pressed the knob to that it would cease it's infernal swooping...damned tree.

I checked out the passageway to the Shrieking Shack to see if it was still intact. I transformed once inside and dusted off the dusty bed and crashed hard. The next evening, I gained entrance into the castle from Honeydukes' cellar for the purposes of surveillance, walking through the tunnel for about an hour or so until I felt the incline up toward the hump of the One-eyed Witch. I pressed the knob and the hump opened up. I pulled myself up and looked around. It was night time and I knew that students would have been bunked for the night. My worry was the staff and faculty. Once my feet hit the floor, did one of the torches light. I transformed immediately and it doused itself. I padded through the third floor corridor and made it to the main stairs. I stopped and listened because I heard voices....

Remus and.... _Sniveless?_ Oh good lord, no....I wasn't aware that Snape was in the castle; I rolled my eyes...the git still spoke that that dull boorish, monotone, measured vocabulary that he used to demonstrate that he was better that you were...for all of his talk about pure blood supremacy, I used to be all too quick to remind him that he was indeed a half-blood and that he was no better than I, a _true_ pure blood, was. I waited until Remus passed me and followed him to find out where his quarters were and he was on a nonstop walk to the Defense classroom area. I wanted to trot up and pounce on him for old times' sake...the man was actually whistling...he was that happy and I was happy for him!

My heart swelled with so much pride for him...DADA was his very best subject and no doubt, he'd be an amazing teacher to his students. He had a way of making learning fun so that facts and theory stuck in your head...even in my thick head as he was so fond of reminding me of all too often. It wasn't until our sixth year that he realized that my lack of knowledge or awareness of the dark arts had been a farce...I reminded him that I had absolutely nothing to do all summer but to read...and what exactly is in the Black Family library? Ancient texts in the form of times and scrolls, damned near everything you never wanted to know about the dark arts. I dare say I knew more curses than dear old Snively.

Once I saw Remus stand before the door to his quarters, did he speak. I thought for a moment that he was actually speaking to me...Had I been in my human form, I would have undoubtedly barked a laugh as I heard the tumblers click to unlock and open the door for him..."Bad Dog. No biscuits for you," was his password. I was quick to realize that he was all too aware that I was indeed afoot, somewhere...

Would he rat me out?

No way...I would never doubt his loyalty ever again.

I climbed the stairway and stood before the Fat Lady. She hadn't changed much.

"Password," she asked sleepily.

"I don't know it," I confessed.

"Then my dear, you will not gain entrance will you?"

 _But I will_ , I thought to myself. _It's only a matter of time, my dear, isn't it._ "It pleases me that the students of Gryffindor Tower are so well protected. Good evening, Madam," I said as I bowed low and crept away as I didn't want to alarm anyone that I was in the castle; this wasn't an actual mission trip. I would have to venture inside again and hang around a bit to learn the password; all I had to do was to hear it once...then I could gain entrance and kill him.

I left the castle and sought refuge in the Forbidden Forest where I remembered there was nice nesting spot. Sometimes, Prongs and I wold take turns resting when Moony would wear us out.

It was still there, if not a bit overgrown, providing the perfect cover; I slept hard, feeling very accomplished...I had learned a lot.

Over the next few weeks, I had come to realize that the password to Gryffindor Tower was being changed on a daily basis. Every time I crept up to the Fat Lady and spoke the password, it was incorrect and I was losing my patience, which I didn't have an abundance of in the first place.

"Why Sir do you continue to try to gain access to the Tower?"

"Call me a concerned parental unit," I said, glaring up at her.

"Ahhh. I understand now. You're worried about the escapee, Sirius Black, aren't you?"

I played along. "Yes my dear, I am. I merely wish to see my child sleeping peacefully."

She nodded her head. "I assure you Sir, your child is safe in the Tower under my protection."

"Thank you, Madam," I said through gritted teeth. I noticed a ginger cat winding in and out of my leg and looked down. "Go away," I grumbled. 

"Crookshanks! Out keeping watch, again are you?"

The cat ignored the portrait and blinked his amber eyes slowly at me...this was no ordinary cat...he was a kneazle hybrid, no doubt a product created from the extensive breeding stock of the one and only Arabella Figg, who we called (affectionately, of course) The Crazy Cat Lady. I walked away in disgust, the cat following behind me. I transformed into Padfoot and made my way back to the Third Floor Corridor, the cat hot on my tail as it were...he wasn't afraid of me as Padfoot at all. I hid behind a suit of armor, transformed into my human form and stared at the cat as he approached me. He climbed up on my lap and headbutted me as if we were old friends, purring all the while. I scratched at his slightly unkempt fur...he was an old cat, I could tell.

"Crookshanks, aye? Wonder if you got that name because you're a thief. Well, lets go with that, shall we? I've a lovely rat that you can dismember once I get a hold of him. The rat is in the Tower and I have to get in to catch him. Fetch me the passwords and I'll let you at him. That rat won't know what hit him."

I found it interesting that the cat hissed each time I said the word, "rat." He knew what Pettigrew was! I grinned as the cat trotted off. And I stared in amazement as the portrait opened for the cat.

"You've got to be kidding me," I said to myself. "Wonder if Padfoot can get it there?" I gave it a shot and slithered through the corridor on my belly and then made a break for the stairs and ran up and sat down before the portrait.

"Who are you," the Fat Lady said. I rolled my eyes...I should have figured on that...I didn't come out of there, so she knew that I didn't belong there. _Smart move there, Padfoot._ _Duh_.

I crept away again and made my move to leave the castle.

 


	14. Hols

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looking for Wormtail. Still...And Sirius is about to lose his composure for real.

By the end of October, I had about had enough of the Fat Lady's nonsense. I hadn't seen Crookshanks for weeks and I wondered if the old cat had actually died. After the evening's festivities, I walked up to the portrait. I was standing before her when I noticed Peeve floating off to my right.

"Let me in," I demanded. 

"No!"

"Aww....Poor Paddifoots bested by the canvas lady," Peeves mocked.

"Go away, Peeves," I growled, then looked up at the portrait again. "Well, lets see what you've under the hood, shall we? I've always wanted to know if you actually wear knickers..." I removed the penknife from my pocket and opened it, then slashed at the portrait. Not once, not twice, but placed at least a few dozen cuts and slashes into the canvas, revealing nothing but the door, not that I really expected anything else, but still...it only served to piss me off all the more. I cursed up a storm..."You don't know what's at stake," I yelled out to her as I watched her take refuge in another painting, higher up where she thought I couldn't get to..."I'm not a student anymore," I yelled up, forgetting where I was as I watched her cower behind painted men. "I _can_ come up there, you know!"

I huffed and turned on my heel, kicking up at the fallen bits of canvas as I stormed off.

"Awww, poor, poor Paddifoots is _seriously_ perturbed..." Peeves cackled. 

"Fuck off, you idiot poltergeist!" I swung my arm through his ectoplasm, rattling him up a bit. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that I hurt his feelings...He was always my buddy, since my first year..."two peas in a pod," he had said to me once...But he had pushed me too far and I watched him fade into the castle wall.

I don't think I've ever seen Peeve at a loss for something snarky to say. Ever; I was absolutely livid. The night would have been the perfect time to avenge James and Lily's deaths. I was getting desperate...Without Crookshanks...well, lets just say that he was my inside man, as it were, and without him, I was at a loss as how to get to Wormtail. I hated that I was so close and yet so far away. I left the castle once again in a such state that I almost didn't care if I dodged the Dementors or not.

The cold air hurt my lungs as I headed toward the Forbidden Forest. I felt the crunch of the frost on the grass beneath the pads of my paws, I turned to see my tracks; the barely there impressions in the glittery coldness...I didn't care if they led them to me as I looked up to see the silhouettes of the Dementors hovering above, as the nearly full moon shone down on all of Hogwarts. 

I wanted this to be DONE!

I made my way to my den and buried myself in the leaves and tried to let sleep overtake me.  
  
The next night, I heard the familiar howl from the direction of the Shack and I shuddered...not from fear, but from the knowing of the pain and anguish that my friend was experiencing...he was alone as I was...and it hurt like hell knowing that.  
  
I had heard talk of a potion that was supposed to render him docile and I wondered why he wouldn't make avail of it, especially around the children all over the place...that was not like him at all. Something had to be wrong...I prayed that it wasn't because of me...because that would mean that he'd have known that I was close by.  
  
______  
  
Christmas came and went and I was no closer to catching Wormtail than I was at the beginning of the term.  
  
By February, I sneaked into the castle again and I found Crookshanks heading in my direction. The cat had let me know through our unspoken communication that he had attempted on several occasions to capture Wormtail himself and bring him to me.  
  
Once again, I reiterated that I needed the password to the Tower. He informed me that it was still changing daily. I felt my ears flatten tightly to my head and he told me to wait.  He trotted away and left me by the One-eyed Witch.  
  
Soon though, he returned with something in his mouth. It looked to be a bit of parchment. He dropped it on the floor at my paws and then cleaned his paws and then his face. I transformed immediately to look at the parchment.  
  
On the parchment were the carefully penned passwords for the entire week! I picked him up and kissed his face and brought him to my chest and held him close. What daft idiot would leave this lying around! I shook head and barked a laugh and then silenced my glee quickly.  
  
He didn't seem to care for that much as he held his paws out, putting a bit of space between us.  
  
"Sorry mate," I whispered.   
  
I transformed into Padfoot and made my way before the portrait of Sir Cadagon and relayed the day's password and watched with satisfaction as the portrait swung open for me. I stepped over the threshold and found myself in the Gryffindor Common Room. I took a look around and was surprised that not much had changed. Climbing the stairs to the boys' dorms, I resolved to make it as quick as I could...not because I wanted to spare Wormtail...oh no...him, I wanted to suffer. But it was the boys...they shouldn't have to witness the carnage.  
  
Using Ally's dad's penknife, I picked the lock with ease and entered the room as silent as the grave. I found Harry's bed and looked in on him as I smiled. I looked for the Ginger boy, who was in the bed right next to him. I grabbed at the bed curtains, thinking that the element of surprise was going to be my friend and I slashed at the them quickly, the boy shrieking with fear and I stared at him.

"Where is he!"

"WHO!"

"THE _RAT!_ "

"What! Scabbers! He's gone! Please don't kill me Mister Black!"

I scowled. "Kill you! Why would I...oh for Merlin's Sake!" I felt a hex that had been fired at me from behind and I turned to see Harry armed with his wand, his eyes on fire. 

"You're a dead man, Black," he said in a steely voice. "You just don't know it yet." 

He fired again and I easily ducked the jinx, meant only to injure and subdue. The only reason that I knew it was a stinging jinx was the wand motion...Harry hadn't uttered a single word. And I smiled and nodded.

"Awesome job, Harry! Silent magic! Well, I'll be seein' ya!" I said as I bolted for the door, running as fast as I could through the corridor and down the stairs. I figured that I had only a few precious minutes to get out of there before help would come...which I found rather odd because I knew that Dumbledore could apparate in and out if he wanted to...

I transformed into Padfoot and hid in the shadows as faculty and staff passed me by. I left as quickly as I went in, transforming in my human form, climbed into the hump of the one eyed witch and closed the hidden door behind me and made my way to Honey Dukes cellar.

I was beyond pissed off. What was it that the Weasley boy said... _he's gone?_

Does that mean that the rat is missing, or he's dead?

Damn it all!

 

 


	15. The Seeker of Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius gets a visitor and a letter. Then he gets to watch a fateful grudge match.

I woke up cold and  hungry, my nose buried in my tail and I hearing the clip clop of a centaur  approaching, I looked up at the majestic archer as he looked down at me with curiosity.

"Change please," he said, his voice low, but insistent.

I lowered my head.

"I know who you are, _Padfoot_. Perhaps you don't remember me?"

I lifted my head and sniffed at the air...it felt familiar, the scent of this one.

I transformed and stood on my feet and dared to look into his eyes. "Frienze?"

He nodded and smiled. "You're looking a little rough there, StarBoy," he chuckled.

I groaned at the badly worded pun.

"And a little thin in the skin as well."

I nodded and looked at my hands again and sniffled then wiped at my nose with the sleeve of my coat. "Yeah."

"I went hunting today," he said.

"And you're sharing?"

"Yes. With you, I will share my kill."

"Why would you do that? I'm a human."

"True. And you're still a right foul git too. You're supposed to say, thank you."

I grinned and nodded my head. "Probably."

"No probably about it. The moon will be full tonight. Your Moony will be in the Shack. Will you be visiting with him?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Pity. The stars are in the perfect alignment for a reunion. The Great Hunter's Dog will be chasing Loki..."

I shook my head. "I can't. He won't know how to..."

"You mean, you won't know how to handle him without Prongs?"

I nodded finally.  "Something like that."

"Did you know that my Herd honored Prongs and his sacrifice during the Samhain feast?"

I smiled. "That's precious. I would have liked to have been there."

"As well as the Grim who  locked jaws with the wolf to save the lone and lost colt. You would have been a guest of honor! I remember seeing you and thinking that it was the end for me if you lost the melee. You transformed into your human form and lifted me onto the back of Prongs...how old was I?" 

"I remember. You were nearly fifteen and as big as Prongs was! I still  have the scar, see?" I moved the collar of my coat and shirt to show him  the silvery scar tissue of the Moony-bite. "Thought I was going to turn at the next full moon...we all did."

"And Remus trekked through the woods to offer up his life in service to the Herd..."

I nodded. 

"He knows you're here, Sirius.  He thinks you're guilty. We have all tried to dissuade him on hunting you down. We all know why you're here."

"Well, so far, he's left me alone. Wait... _you do?_ "

"Of course! It's written in the stars, isn't it!" He held out his long, strong arms and smiled up toward the sky. The centaur tilted his head as he righted his bow on his shoulder. "He _knows where you sleep_ , Sirius."

I felt my blood grow cold as my eyes widened in shock. 

"Remus asked that I give you this," he said as he held out a parchment envelope.

My arm involuntarily  rose and my fingers grasped onto the envelope, my eyed fixated on it; I  realized that I was shaking as I gazed at the familiar penmanship. What could he possibly have to share with  me? I saw that Frienze was holding a skinned rabbit toward me.

"Have some breakfast. And take heart old friend. The Canine Brothers will pack together soon. You'll see..."

"What, no pelt!" I chuckled and nodded as I relieved him of the rabbit and nodded. "Thank you," I said.

He grinned as he nodded then turned  away. I was always impressed with the magnificence of the Centaurs;  usually, they didn't meddle in the affairs of humans, but I had effectively saved this particular stallion and he kept an eye on me...even ran with us on a few occasions and whenever Moony got too close, Prongs and Padfoot intervened. Eventually, the hardheaded and  wild Moony had come to realize that these majestic creatures were not _prey_.

"What are friends for," he said as he trotted away.

I yawned at scratched at  the back of my head. I moved deeper into the forest and dug a small pit and lit a small fire, then roasted my gift. In my hands, I stared at  the envelope. I breathed in deeply and opened the envelope.

_Padfoot,_

_I want you to be know  that I am aware that you've been in the castle, attempting to gain  entrance into The Tower. You really did a number on the Fat Lady. Her  canvas has been repaired, but she's different...for once, she's been at a  loss for words, if you can imagine that. Dumbledore has placed Sir Cadogan in her place until further notice. He should offer you a bit of  sport...you always did like him, didn't you?_

_You should know that I met with Diana three weeks ago and we spoke at great length about you.  We even had to get a room to keep from disturbing Rosemerta's patrons.  We argued well into the night to the point where there was a long bout of silence on both our parts--we had exhausted ourselves. She told me  that you are hunting Peter. Of course, I didn't believe her and we parted on bad terms. Now, she won't accept any correspondences._

_You're probably thinking, well, why would she, yes?_

_Well, I've come to have a certain artifact in my possession once again and have come to realize that he is indeed alive. I have things that I need to discuss with you. Please don't hide from me old friend...I can help you._

_All for one..._

_Moony_

I gnawed on the bones of the rabbit as I read the letter, wondering if it was a trap. I placed the letter, envelope and all in the pocket of my coat. I withdrew the letter again and unfolded it...he had mentioned an _artifact_...Was he once again in possession of the map?

That would explain how he knew where I was...if Frienze was indeed speaking of him...

____

I woke from my cold and wet slumber to the amplified voice of the Quidditch announcer. I rose from my den, stretched and headed for the pitch...thinking that it might be nice change of pace. I looked up to see the colors of burgundy and gold and green and silver lining the pitch through the rain...I always hated rain-games...especially when it was a wicked storm, like this one was. I tried in vain to shake the cold wetness from my fur to no avail.

Grudge match, I thought to myself and walked in and lay down beneath the risers of the bleachers where it was relatively dry. The game had already begun and I was excited to get to see Harry play...I didn't even know what position he played. I heard the cheers from the crowd as the announcer relayed the match, play by play. And then I heard Harry's name...he was chasing the snitch...he was the Seeker...Lily had played Seeker when we played our informal games...she never tried out for the team, but she could have easily won her a spot as Gryffindor's Seeker...Even if James wasn't the Captain...and please don't get me wrong, but for a Muggle born, she was amazing...she had a real competitive edge to her...a trait that she had passed on to her son. And to see him fly, it was just like watching a mini-James...I was elated!

I crawled out from beneath the risers and rolled over on my belly to see if I could spot him. He was high into the air, zooming fast, turning at sharp angles to chase the little golden winged ball. I watched him climb higher into the sky and saw a bit of lightning and then I saw them...the Dementors...they were surrounding him.

The next thing I saw was Harry plummeting down to Earth. 

I ran out of my hiding spot and heard the scream of a woman and a man, almost simultaneously...." _PADFOOT! LEAVE IT!_ "

But I couldn't leave my Harry. Not like this. I heard him groan and then the bits of his broom came raining down upon us as I covered his body with mine, protecting him from the sharp debris that was falling about us. I yelped as I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder; I had been struck by a sharp splinter of wood and I looked back toward the stands and saw Remus helping Ally from the stands. They, as well as Minerva, Albus and several students as well as Poppy were on their way to our position. Then, I saw the pale robes of Albus Dumbledore before my eyes and I looked up...he was as livid as I'd ever seen him, but I wasn't sure if it was because of the Dementors, or me. I felt my body being suspended in the air and he turned me to face him.

Dumbledore kept everyone at bay, except for Poppy, Moony and himself. "Everyone make way and let Madame Pomfrey through!" Then he looked me in the eye. "We'll talk later," he said crossly. His wand still on me and levitated me into the strong arms of Professor Remus Lupin and he carried me toward the castle. I lay in his arms, but what I really wanted to do was to jump out of his arms and run...run as fast as I could, but the injury prevented it.

"Gods, he's bleeding," Ally said. I could tell that she was crying.

"He's strong, Di. He's going to be alright. You'll see."

"You don't think he'll try to run again, do you?"

"Probably."

"Well one thing had better be for certain," she said.

"Oh? And that is?"

"I think that his actions today should prove to you once and for all that he's not after Harry!"

I felt Remus sigh as I lay my head on his shoulder. "I need to actually have a conversation with him."

"Well, it can't be tonight, can it?"

He shook his head and sighed wearily. "No," he breathed, "not tonight."

"Here, let me take him," she said. "You're in no shape to be carrying him, Rem."

"Absolutely not! He weighs a million stone!"

She moved ahead of us and I craned my neck to see her blocking our way, with her hands on her hips. "Give him to me," she said. "I'll manage."

Remus sighed and shook his head. "No, we'll simply levitate him in." He turned his head slightly to whisper in my ear, "Padfoot, I solemnly swear on Prong's grave, if you run, you'll be joining him."

I believed him and stayed put.

 


	16. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius makes it to the hospital wing and makes a new ally.

I slept in the hospital wing, or rather, Poppy's office. Remus merely left as soon as he was convinced that I was secure. Ally though, to her credit, remained behind and asked if there was a potion that Remus could take...

"There is. Professor Snape has been providing Lupin with the doses every month. It's still hard on him though. Poor Remus! I've always felt so bad for him!"

"We all have, Madam."

"Please Allison, you're all grown up now. Call me Poppy?"

Ally chuckled as she knelt down. "Told you that I'd handle him," she whispered.

I moved my eyes and tried to smile and she chuckled as she rubbed the fur on my face. She kissed her finger and placed it on my nose. I licked her finger. 

"Do you know this dog, Allison?"

She stood up abruptly. "Well...I, uh..."  
  
I could feel an uncomfortable silence that seemed to last forever...but then, as a dog, I've really no sense of time in the conventional sense...it served me well at Chez Azkaban, thankfully.

"Well, do you?"

"I do, yes. You can keep a secret, yes?" I lifted my head, my eyes large and my pupils dilated. I watched her roll hers and grin. "Well, of course you can! This is Snuffles. He's mine."

"Ah," Poppy mused. 

I sighed heavily and watched her look at me with a sneer and then a grin.

Poppy gave me a sedative in the form of a hypodermic and almost immediately, I found my eyes growing heavy. I woke up in my human body, to a bandage around my shoulder and her staring at me with a wand in my face. "Alright Sirius, no foolishness from you," she warned. "Love the new artwork, by the way."

I looked around and saw that we were alone, save Harry, who was out cold.

"How did you know," I asked, my eyes trained on her wand which was still pointed.

"The bite mark," she replied, her shaking hand steadying her wand. "I _will_ fire," she warned.

I sighed and tried to smile. "No worries, Poppy." I swung my legs over and stretched, then clamped my hands on the edge of the bed and nodded toward my godson. "Please tell me that Harry's going to be alright?"

"Yes, but if our Headmaster hadn't slowed his descent..."

I grimaced and nodded, not wanting to even think about it. 

Then, I watched her face soften as she lowered her wand. "You've absolutely no intention of hurting Potter, do you?"

I felt my eyes water; I can only imagine what my face looked like, for I watched her face take on a look of sympathy as she put away her wand in the pockets of her clinical-robes. 

"So, why are you here?"

"Pettigrew," I replied.

"Sirius, Peter Pettigrew is..."

I shook my head. "He is _not_ dead."

She looked away and shook her head.

"I have to find him. Weasley said that he was gone. Now, I don't know if that means that he's taken off, or..."

"Weasley! Which one?"

"What do you mean, _which one,_ " I spat.

"There are four currently enrolled here."

I nodded. "Oh yes, the twins, the girl and _Ronald_...it's him that I need to talk to."

"RON! What on Earth for!"

"Pettigrew is his pet rat," I replied.

"RAT!" 

We both turned toward Harry as he groaned in his sleep and I hopped up on all fours on the bed, preparing to transform.

I heard her gasp and then chuckle as she shook her head, walking over to check on him. "I should have known. Out of everyone on the planet, I should have known." She fluffed his hair and checked on his wounded shoulder and arm. When she returned to me, she pulled up a chair and sat down. "I'm listening, Sirius. Tell me what _really_ happened that day?"

"You believe me then?"

She nodded. "Of course. During many a full moon I had spent hours watching the four of you from either the Clock Tower, or the Astronomy Tower...although Peter was the hardest to see," she said gently. "Tell me your story, Dear. Say, would you care for a spot of tea?"

"Oh, I'd love one," I replied, suddenly, very much relieved.

"I think I have a tin of biscuits as well..."

"I am rather hungry..."

She sighed and looked me over quickly with a concerned gaze. "When was the last time you ate, Sirius?"

"I had a rabbit yesterday," I said, wincing and watched her shake her head as she rolled her eyes. "Firenze brought it to me."

"The Centaur?"

"Mmhm."

She smiled as she heated the tea kettle with her wand. "That's good to know."

"Why's that?"

"He can corroborate your story. You know, to the Headmaster?" She handed me a hot cup of tea.

"Oh, I'm fairly certain that Albus knows the truth," I said, completely deadpan.

She shook her head. "No! Albus wouldn't knowingly allow you to suffer like you have!"

"Of course he would," I said, sipping on my tea.

She shook her head again.

I felt my face lose all expression...no pain, no disgust, it just _was_. "You see, my loyalties aligned with the Potters, always did. And to their son. Even Remus...he came in fourth...and Peter. Ally...who really should have been my first seeing as I wanted her so badly, came in sixth. I was so, sooooo _stupid._ My priorities were so skewed back then. I'll never forgive myself for that."

I felt a tear streak down my cheek.

"Oh Sirius," she said. "You mustn't beat yourself up like this!"

"Why not? Apparently everyone else gets a shot at me, why shouldn't I have a go as well?"

I told her my story between patients as I watched her attend to them, clearly distraught; her professional acumen impressed me.

_____

Ally returned to the medical unit with breakfast. Harry was awake and I was laying on the bed as Padfoot, with a laser-like gaze on him. She bid him good morning as she passed by him and he watched with interest as she fed me the bits of breakfast.

"Miss Rogers, is that your dog?"

She smiled. "No."

"Then why is it..." He pointed to the plate in her hand.

"Because he's _hungry_ Mister Potter," she replied with the same tone that I'd heard her address his father time and time again. "See how thin he is? He's starving."

"Seems very friendly," Harry said, nearly under his breath.

She craned her neck to look over at him and nodded. "I think so?" She sounded almost pained...perhaps it hurt her to see Harry still in his quidditch uniform with his number 7 blazoned on the front, just like James. And just like James, his hair was an absolute mess. Only his eyes and wire frames distinguished him from his father...he even had his father's voice, only it was a little powdery, like his mothers...nothing like the boisterous, loud and often obnoxious voice of his dad's. He seemed like he wanted nothing more than to disappear into the mattress.

Poppy arrived with another potion for him and I huffed a chuckle watching his face as he swallowed the vile thick concoction, with Ally shushing me. "You should be able to return to your dorm in a few hours Potter."

Harry nodded as he swallowed the lasts dregs, then thrust the glass up in her direction with a shudder.

The Weasley boy and a girl entered the ward and approached him and chatted with him for a moment. The girl spoke to him with an air of authority that reminded me so much of Lily that it made my heart ache.

The next person to enter the ward was none other than Professor Lupin himself. I watched his eyes scan the large room for me and then Harry. His demeanor was friendly, but professional. He chatted with them for a few moments and then spoke to Poppy as his eyes finally settled on me.

"Good morning, Ally," he said with a jovial smile...he was really in his element and I was elated for him.

"Remus," she relied stiffly.

"I, erm...you see..."

She looked up at him; there was no smile on her face . "I'm not the one you need to apologize to, mate."

He nodded and smiled. "I understand." His eyes locked to mine and he breathed in deeply. He turned his head to look over his shoulder and exhaled his sigh. I lifted my head and looked over toward Harry and his friends, letting out a high-pitched whine. He reached out his hand and touched the side of my muzzle, then scratched at my ear, causing my leg to involuntarily twitch.

That's as good as a sincere verbal apology from Moony as far as I'm concerned...and he knew it.

 


	17. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius heads back to London with Ally and remembers...

Ally took me back to her flat to recuperate. I lay on her bed sore and tired; I heard the shower running as her singing to a radio and I roused myself from her bed and joined her. I startled her, I knew I would, but...oh well? I half expected her to scream, but to her credit, she merely stood in the stream of the shower as stiff as a board, ready to take flight. I remembered that we had gone over this time and time again, that she should always have her wand on her. Still, her soft hands felt good gliding on my skin and I had to remind myself that this wasn't a prelude to sex and so I concentrated on the purpose of hygiene, her touch relaxing me instantly and I closed my eyes as I leaned against the shower wall. She washed my hair, muttering that I was in dire need of a haircut and a shave. When we were finished with the shower, she sat me at her kitchen table and cut my hair and shaved my face. I frowned when I looked at my reflection...the haircut was good, as was the shave, but I'd become so thin, that I looked like a wisp of a man and I knew that wouldn't be able to hide behind my hair.

While in the shower, I was reminded of a surprise visit she paid to the Potters. Remus and I were on an assigned mission for the Order and we returned a few days ahead of schedule...we were battered, bruised and a bit shaken from our ordeal; I had caught a viral bug from some bad food and felt like absolute shite. Remus was injured with a broken leg and had limped into the kitchen announcing our return while I disapparated for the shower. I cleaned up as best as I could and donned a pair of sweats and a zippered sweat jacket. I curled up on my bed in feverish agony and heard someone knock on my door.

"Go away."

Once again, the knocking...a bit more urgently this time. Then the door opened and she peered into my darkened room. "Heard you weren't feeling so well?"

I looked into her eyes and held out my arms and she smiled. She entered my bedroom, closing the door behind her and approached my bed and sat down. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I buried my face into the fabric of the back of her blouse and groaned. I heard her chuckle and felt her kick off her shoes and lay beside me.

"Saints alive, Sirius! You don't look so hot," she said, trying to smile.

"No shite," I replied drolly. "I'm burning up. My stomach and my head..." I felt like I was about to wretch at any second.

She felt my brow and I watched the sweet smile fade from her face; she pried herself from my bed sheets and sat up. "I'm going to bring you something for your tummy and that fever. Might take a bit, so try to get some rest..."

"Don't go," I whined.

"I'll be back, you big baby."

"I am _not a baby!_ "

Her brow craned high. "No? Well, you certainly sound like one." She stuck out her tongue and winked her eye then pursed her lips. 

"Where are you going..."

"Just downstairs to the kitchen."

I clenched my eyes tightly. "I can't stomach anything, Ally...everything comes right back up..."

"Well, you need something in your stomach before we end up taking you to Saint Mungos...besides, you haven't had my cooking in a while..."

I shook my head, but only barely. "Please stay with me...Ally..."

"I'm only going downstairs, _Siri_..."

I remember sneering at her and then rolling my eyes as she closed the door behind her. "Alllllllleeeeeeee...." I whined, hoping to illicit some sort of sympathetic response.

She had remained just on the other side of the door giggling.

" _Bitch_."

"I heard that," she said through the door.

"GOOD," I yelled, then groaned...I felt completely terrible and wanted to die...just so it would all cease and desist. If I succumbed to the illness, then so be it.

I was awakened an hour later by a long-sought warmth...I was freezing. Ally gently plucked the damp fringe from my face, waking me. "Think you can sit up love?"

"I want to die."

"Nooooo...come on, lets get you to sitting up."

I smelled something wonderful, although it made me want to vomit...there was nothing left except my own saliva and bile and that's what came up. She reached for the trash bin by my desk and placed it in my hands and I expelled the contents of my mouth, grimaced and shuddered.

She took the bin from me and sat me up a little further, then reached for the steaming bowl of chicken broth. "I borrowed your bike, I hope you don't mind," she said.

I felt my eyes enlarge as I swallowed the hot liquid and coughed. " _The bike?_ "

She nodded. 

"The broth is store-bought. A properly crafted broth takes time, and that, I simply didn't have, but it's doctored up a bit."

"Why didn't you just apparate?"

"To where, Sirius? Besides, James went with me. I hadn't a clue in hell where I was going."

I nodded as I rolled my eyes. 

"See, Lily needed the car since she had a doctor's appointment, but don't worry, it's still in one piece."

I nodded again...James would have alerted me had something gone wrong and she wasn't injured, so I instinctively knew all was well. Besides, I taught James, Remus, Lily. Peter and her how to operate the bike, but only James knew how to fly it. Remus and Pete weren't interested and while this may sound a bit chauvinistic, I didn't want Ally or Lily in the air with it...I then realized that Lily's belly would probably be a bit larger than it was the last time I seen her, which had been several weeks prior. I had actually finished the broth and she helped me to recline and I scooted toward the center of my bed inviting her to lay down with me. "When do you have to leave," I asked, holding on to her.

"Day after tomorrow," she replied.

I nodded and buried my face in her hair, half laying on top of her and soon fell asleep to the sound of her heart beating.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke alone. My fever had broke but my clothes were wet and cold. I had apparently kicked off the blankets sometime in the middle of the night. I got up and decided that I needed another shower...

The rest of the thirty-six hours of her surprise visit were an orgasmic blur but I smiled, remembering with fondness as I lay down beside her again, a mere fraction of the man I once was.

 


	18. Moony, Wormy, Crookshanks and Mad Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and the full moon and Sirius gets a visitor at number 12 Grimmauld Place.

I left Ally while she slept, convinced that it was the right thing to do. I kept telling myself that as I closed the door behind me, transforming into Padfoot once around the corner after having ducked into an alleyway; and after a two days walk, I was still trying to convince myself.

I tried not to imagine her waking up alone, searching her tiny flat for me, waiting for my return...I'd always kept her waiting hadn't I?

I found Peter in the arms of Ron Weasley downwind of Hadgrid's hut. The ratfink caught my scent and took off, with the ginger running behind us. When I'd nearly had him in my grasp, Weasley performed a magnificent tackle and managed to grab him. As the boy held him close to his body protectively, I figured that it was either now or never, so I grabbed the boy by his the leg of his trousers and pulled him into the secret passageway, praying to any higher power that might be listening that Remus had caught the melee on the map and was on his way.

Soon enough though, Harry and the cute little brunette, the one who reminded me of Lily, were shielding him, their wands trained on me. I almost prayed for death when the girl stood over me, trying to gently shoo Crookshanks off of my chest, as he hissed and spit at her...Crookshanks was _her_ cat! I laughed manically...I couldn't help it!

Finally, I lifted my head and looked the ginger feline in his amber-colored eyes. "Get off," I said. and surprisingly enough, he did.

I heard Lupin long before I saw him. It was then that he announced to the trio that Hermione was oh-so brilliant for deducing the secret of his little furry problem. I embraced him like I never had before, even when we were going through our little period of self-discovery and awareness, as he later put it...a little period that lasted some four years...We agreed that we were going to put him out of our misery _together._

Finally, I confronted Pettigrew, exposing him for what he was, a traitor.

But, in the end, it was Harry who insisted that we not exact our revenge. And to make matters worse, the son-of-a-bitch got away scot-free again. I was beyond livid...but I had bigger issues to deal immediately. Remus missed taking his potion and transformed...in direct view of the kids, no less. I had to do whatever I could to protect them...even if I died doing it. 

And...I'd completely forgotten about the Dementors circling above...

I suppose when it comes down to it, I'm really the not cold-blooded killer that I so badly wanted to be. The quietly-pleading voice of my best friends' child prevented it. Harry Potter saved my life in more ways than one that evening and I owed the boy not one, but two life-debts, at least...I smiled realizing that as I sat on Lupin's sofa, three days later...the sofa that had used to be mine, no less.

I was tasked with informing the previous members of the Order that business was about to be resumed. It was then that I did the bloody-fucking unthinkable: we needed a secure place to reconvene and I offered up my parents house in London. There were all matter of enchantments in the form of spells, wards, and a hefty fidelus charm concealing and protecting the property...So fierce was the fidelus charm, that I couldn't find the house from the front...I had to go round to the back of the house, where my father conveniently forgot my secret exit...but if I'm being honest, I wasn't completely convinced that it had slipped his mind.

What the hell was I even thinking at the time, is anyone's guess...Trading one prison for another.

Dear. God.

_____

The next year was full of drama. I had to leave the nest as it were, and take my charge with me. Buckbeak had become too used to the large soft bed that he nested on and wasn't too keen on having to share a dark, dank and damp cave with yours truly. I had to get him back to the house if only so that he'd remain complacent.

But I digress.

Spring was coming, every fiber of my being told me so. I had written to Harry to see if he wanted to come and stay with me in London during the spring hols, but he had elected to stay at Hogwarts on the advice of the Headmaster and I was alone again, since Remus having been away on another mission for the Order. He didn't disclose to me where he was going, nor when he'd return, because he said that he didn't know...he hoped that he'd be home with me for the Spring hols.

I had written to Ally and made known my desire for an heir; I didn't know how long I was going to last in my current state of mind, as I felt it slipping away minute by minute. My proposition of financial compensation was probably going too far and of course, she took offense to it, but I wanted her to understand that I would provide for her and our child, if we were able to conceive one. I simply couldn't allow Bellatrix, who was next in line, since my brother had to go and get himself snuffed out, to have control of the family...I'd be damned if I'd let that happen...I felt like I was damned enough without that on my head too.

She had a couple of weeks in between games in March and agreed to meet with me so that we could discuss the particulars.

When she showed up at the house, she looked around in horror; for one, mostly because it was a shambles and two, because I had promised myself that I'd never ever end up back there. But here I was and if any kind of good luck were on our side, we'd conceive a child before too long.

Turned out that it was meant to be; apparently, the stars were perfectly aligned and afforded us a pregnancy immediately. Her father hit the roof when she informed him and she offered to leave the team, but he insisted that he'd stick by her...if only because I couldn't. He was aware of my conviction and like a lot of people, I was learning, thought it was bullocks.

I stayed at Remus' little cottage most of the time because I couldn't stand to be in the house alone...it felt... _haunted_. Perhaps it was? Every time I turned a corner, I felt a presence and it creeped me out to the point that I had to leave nightly. I learned early on that my mother's portrait had been enchanted and I ended up placing a covering over the beautiful portrait...yes, I said _beautiful_. It is. It's an amazing piece of art...even if the subject is in itself, horrific. Dark, horrific and utterly hellish.

And. Very. LOUD!

I tried to remove the portrait only to realize that it had been affixed with a strong sticky charm...the very same kind that I had used to plaster the walls of my childhood bedroom with Gryffindor memorabilia, muggle posters of rock bands and motorcycles, as well as pin ups...I reckon she thought that turn about was fair play? I certainly would have...

I would turn up at Ally's flat often just to make certain she was alright and she had whatever it was that she thought she needed...she said that I was spoiling her. Perhaps I was?

Finally that damned tournament had concluded at a very high price, the death of a student at the hands of the Dark Lord himself...Harry was well on his way to having thrice defeated him just like his parents...I wanted that boy with me when he wasn't in school and even then, I wasn't completely convinced that enough precautions were being taken. 

Then I learned that "Professor" Mad Eye Moody, wasn't Mad Eye at all...I spit out my ale when the old coot showed up for an unannounced visit and told me what happened.

"Why, Alastor! I'm _absolutely_ disgusted! What ever happened to ' _vigilance_ ,'" I teased.

"Shut up Black," Moody hissed as he tossed down the glass of single malt I offered him. "I'll teach you vigilance!"

I toasted him and finished the contents of my glass. "It would be a welcome change to the fucking monotony of _this_ place..." I poured us both another glass-full. "I don't even know if I can duel anymore?"

"Let me see your wand Sirius," he asked.

I shook my head. "Don't have one. Any magic I do is all wandless and most of it's silent anyway. Still, I'd like one. I used to be so good, remember?"

He looked hard at me, his prosthetic eye moving about in his head as he nodded with sympathy. "I understand, Son. I'll see what I can do to see about securing a wand for you. It makes absolutely no sense what so ever that you're tasked with keeping Headquarters safe and you're unarmed..."

I looked into his good eye, very nearly unhinged. "Thank you," I managed.

"Listen, I have some people, two actually who aren't buying Fudge's stance. I'd like you to meet them. Well, actually now that I think about it, you know both of them?"

I collected myself as quickly as I could. "Oh yeah? Who? Smythe? McNaulty?"

He shook his head. "Nah. Shacklebolt. You remember him don't you?"

I laughed, remembering the man who stood nearly as tall as a tree. I used to tease him that he descended from Amazonian royalty. "Kingsley. How is he?"

MadEye nodded and smiled. "He's well. He's going to replace me when I officially retire."

I nodded. "Excellent. And the other?"

"Hmm? Oh! Yes...your cousin."

I sneered at him. "What?" I thought hard. "Andromeda?"

He shook his head. "Nooooo....her daughter..."

"Little Dora! How cute!"

"Wouldn't let her hear you say that if I were you. She's every bit as deadly as you are."

I grinned. "Oh yeah?"

He nodded. "My protegee."

"Cool!" I smiled and nodded. "I'd like to see her! If she's anything like her mum, she's quite the beauty..."

"Some days. There are times when I don't know who the hell I'm talking to!"

"Sorry?"

"She's a natural Metamorphmagus. I thought you knew that?"

I gasped as I remembered. "I'd forgotten about that! Top marks in subterfuge then, I take it?"

"Oh, you can bet on that! She's a clutz though."

"So's her mum." I remembered babysitting her and kissing skinned knees as I patched her up and then sent her on her way again to play outside..."I remember chasing her as Padfoot and she'd pretend to be a _bunny-wabbit_...Wow...an _Auror_..." I breathed in deeply, struggling to retain my composure as I realized once again just how much had been taken from me.

"Tell ya what? What's say I ring her up and get her over here. That should cheer you up some?"

"Oh, I couldn't possibly let her in here with the state of this place being what it is..."

"I really don't think she'd care one iota about what kind of place this is. What I do think she'd care about is that you're alive and in one piece..."

"Oh?"

He nodded. "Yeah. It just so happens that I know all of the bunny-wabbit stories, Sirius. You're one of her heroes. She is an auror because of you." I lost my composure and blew up a table with a glance, startling the older man. "Jesus Christ! Sirius, what the hell else can you do!"

All during our conversation, I'd seen him eyeing up the few tattoos that were visible and I reckon when curiosity finally got the better of him, he asked to see them. Still shaking from having lost my cool, I complied and removed my shirt and he took a few minutes to read the runic lettering. 

"And these all over your body?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I said as I donned my shirt and buttoned it. "I had a lot of time to kill."

"You're a human wand, Sirius. Did you know that? I've got to get Garrick out here to see you."

"Garrick? Garrick Olivander?"

"Do you know another?"

"Think he'll come?"

"Why wouldn't he? He sold your wand to you!"

"So?"

"That man knows what you're capable of, Sirius. As well as what you're not." He winked his eye and grinned. "But of course, what does he know, yeah?"

I had to chew on his words carefully.

 


	19. Cleaning House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius officially sets up residence at Number 12 Grummauld Place

Spring came and went and soon the summer hols were in full swing. I  could hear kids in the park across the street playing muggle football daily. I learned that there was a young family in a flat in the next unit...another great townhouse no longer; it too had been renovated  sometime  during my imprisonment just like the other one had.

Summer  was particularly difficult for me to stay indoors. I always did like  the summer months,  especially once I was on my own and had my bike.  When I wasn't busy with the Order, I'd drive for hours,  usually going  nowhere specific, but I did gain a great deal of knowledge  of the  landscape, the people and where to get great food and a decent night's  sleep.

Of course, there were a few times when I snuck out as Padfoot and played with the kids in the park across the  street...Don't  judge me. I was losing my mind in that house!

Start  of term was about to convene and we were in a tizzy trying to clean up  the  place for the people who would soon arrive. All matter of  magical critters had taken up residence in my house. Molly Weasley and I pierced each other with our Scorpio glares on more than a few occasions, both knowing that it was neither of our fault and that Kreacher in his lonely madness and grief was unable to keep up with anything...I almost felt sorry for him.

 _Almost_...

Molly  Weasley offered to come and help me get the house in shape and  of  course, we had free labor in the form of her kids...I felt awful for them, having been roped into helping me out...but since it was for the Order, they understood and seemed completely compliant.

Ron had opened a small wooden box revealing a beautiful amber locket with a serpentine embedded in the calcified amber...it reeked of evil and the poor boy fainted upon contact. I picked him up as I pocketed the locket and placed him on the settee in the front room...I always  had a soft spot for that boy...sweet kid he  is...the fact that he was fiercely loyal to Harry has absolutely nothing to do with anything. 

And one afternoon, I opened my door and was greeted by Remus and one, Hermione Jean Granger...Harry's female mate. She was intelligent, funny, bossy and cute in her own way...the more I got to know her, the more she reminded me of Lily...only not; she was definitely her own person! And devil take me now, but I was immediately smitten with the girl on sight. The twins noticed first and I told them that I thought she was a nice girl and if they could keep an eye on her; they both promised that they would, but that it wouldn't be easy...she was as sharp as they come, they said. And then Remus noticed...only he wasn't so nice about  it.

Remus came to me and cornered me in Buckbeak's nest.

"Leaver her be, Sirius!"

"What!  I haven't done anything! Don't you think that I am not aware  of the  differences in our ages! Don't you think I am capable of making sound decisions!"

"NO I DON'T!  Look mate, I know you're lonely, hell I am too, but not _her_...she's a baby comparatively..."

"I wouldn't let her hear you say that were I you, Remus," I warned.

"Well, it's a good thing that I'm not you, isn't it?"

"Why don't you let me see if I can't find..."

"Oh  no you don't! It's not a matter of getting laid! I'm just as fucking isolated from humanity as I've ever been, Remus! Don't you get it? We correspond and talk, Remus! _JUST TALK!"_

I knew  he meant well, but I had to remind him that even Ginny would come to me to ask for advice...You know, from a guy's point of view. AND I certainly wasn't about to tell him about the many very erotic dreams that I'd had about the girl...for _months_.

Over the summer, from her letters while she was summering in France with her parents and talking to her in the middle of the night through  the floo during the prior school term when neither of us could sleep due to our worries over Harry and that damned tournament; I had gotten to  know her pretty well. She was _mature_ for her age, I picked up on that right away. I was like a little kid at Christmas whenever a letter from her arrived...I had to hide them from him after a while.

But there she was, at my door, with Remus standing behind her with that _look_ on his face once again. "I have to talk to you," she whispered as she stared up at me with a smile.

I  welcomed and ushered her in with a smile on my face. She'd grown a  little bit, filled out a little bit more and she was tan and tone and _Oh. My. God_.   I nearly shut the door in his face, but he stopped it with the toe of his shoe and then kicked at it with slight aggravation causing it to hit  the wall behind it. I told her that she was going to room with Ginny and she readily agreed. She nearly fainted at the sight of the  beheaded house elves and I apologized profusely...I rarely saw them anymore...they'd always been there...my entire life, they'd always been there...and they were like the wall paper to me. I informed her that they were well protected and that there was no way that they were going to be removed any time soon. 

We Blacks certainly do like our sticky charms...

_____

The start of term was fast approaching and  Remus had returned from a quick trip abroad looking completely exhausted; the pain of the upcoming evening's transformation taking it's  toll on him and the only reason that he returned was so that I could be with him. Potion or not, he admitted to me that I had a calming affect  on him during his transformations. I drew him a warm bath, put him in it  and left him only to bring him something light to eat, mothering him  like I used to do when we were kids...I think he secretly loved it.

His sojourn was short-lived though as he revealed to me that he had to get back to the action...I begged him to take me with him, lest I lose my mind. He sighed and refused me once again: someone had to be on call in the event someone needed an emergency place to crash...I hated that I'd been reduced to Dumbledore's beck and call boy. Heh...I just made a funny...

The next morning, I woke up, covered by his tall  frame, his strong arms holding on to me hard enough where I could barely  breathe.

"Moony?"

"Mmph."

"Remus? Come on mate, I gotta hit the loo..."

I felt the flutter of his eyelashes on the bare skin of my neck as he  made a little nondescript noise and loosened his grip. "Sorry Sirius,"  he said groggily. "Forgot where I was for a moment."

I smiled. "No you didn't. You can't lie to me Moony."

I felt his smile in the curve of my neck and then his low quiet laugh as his teeth grazed my earlobe. When he released me, I swung my legs  over the edge of the transfigured mattress that I'd placed on the floor  and crawled to stand and then it hit me...the pain of his  transformation...I could take it in my youth, but this was different...I wasn't used to being "Mooned" as James used to call it. I struggled to  walk toward the door, grabbing my house coat along the way.

"Hey?"

I stopped just at the door, my wand in my hand, preparing to unlock  the enchantments on the door. I turned my head, but only barely. "Yeah,"  I asked.

"Did we, erm, you know...?"

I  glanced over my shoulder and grinned as I nodded. "Oh yeah," I chuckled, still in pain but I thought I hid it well.

I watched him shield his face from me with his hands. "Oh Sirius, I'm so sorry!"

"Why? It's all part and parcel of being your beta."

"I'm not your Alpha," he protested, his voice becoming a little thinner.

"The hell you're not! Hey, I've even got the Moony-bite to prove it," I said grinning as I unlocked the door.

"That's nothing to be proud of you know!"

I trudged up the stairs from the basement. "COFFEE IN FIVE! SO GET YOUR ARSE UP HERE, OR IT'S ALL FOR ME AND YOU GET NADA!"

Once done, I ventured back downstairs to the kitchen to find Molly, Ginny and Hermione preparing breakfast. I learned that Harry would be  arriving later in the week; Dumbledore insisted on leaving him with the Dursleys for as long as could be tolerated...something having to do with blood-magick...

I plopped down in my chair at the head of the table and held my head in my hands. I saw a petite hand place a large mug of coffee before me  as I felt another hand on my back right between my shoulder blades...it  was a healing-touch spell and it felt wonderful. I looked up into the  brown eyes of Hermione Granger. "Morning 'Mione, thank you," I whispered  as I moaned with relief.

"How are you feeling?"

I breathed in deeply and winced. "I've certainly felt worse," I joked.

"He didn't take the potion did he?"

I tried to smile, my lips thinning and dripping with disdain as I  shook my head. "Didn't have one to take. I reckon Snivellus was too  preoccupied to brew any?"

"I overheard right then."

"Ah...Eavesdropping, were you?" I grinned.

She pretended not to hear, but the pink blush in her cheeks gave her  away. "Dumbledore is furious. Saying that we are all supposed to be on the same said and working together."

"Are we?"

"Sorry?"

"On the same side?" I reached my arm over my shoulder and took her  delicate hand in mine and held her there by it. "I know who's side I'm  on. Who's side are you on, 'Mione?"

"The right side," she said without apology. "Who's side are you on?"

"I'm on Harry's side," I replied. "I'll always be on Harry's side."

"Well, I am as well. I love him."

I released her and smiled. "You do?"

"Well, yes! He's like a brother to me!"

"Ah." I took her hand in mine again and gently squeezed it, then released her and petted Crookshanks as he jumped up into my lap and headbutted the underside on my unshaven chin, his paws on my chest...I learned that was kitty-speak for hello. She reached for her cat, gently  admonishing him for being at the table, but the cat extended his claws into my man-bits and I winced and cast my glare down at him. "Do you mind? I swear, I'll return the favor one day."

The cat blinked his amber eyes and chirped a quiet little meow at me.

"Oh gods! Bad Crookshanks! I'm so sorry Sirius! I suppose he really likes you..."

I looked up past her to see Remus standing in the doorway, with the  most interesting look of disapproval on his face. I held up the coffee  and invited him to partake of it as Hermione left us to fetch a cup for  him.

"Stop this right now," he whispered.

"What are you going on about?"

"You're _flirting_ ," he said through his gritted teeth.

"I am _not!_ "

"You _are_..." He looked up and smiled at Hermione and he moaned happily when she placed the flat of her palm on his back as well.

I tipped the cup to my lips. "Uh huh. You were saying?"

We all heard Fred came bounding down the stairs, and then running  into the kitchen followed closely by George; he was waving the morning edition of the Daily Prophet in the air and plopped it down before me  and pointed. "You're going to just love this, Sirius!"

I looked down at the paper and saw Harry's photograph on the front  page, talking about how he had been subpoenaed to appear before the  Wizengamot the following day for the "use of underage sorcery in the  presence of a muggle".

" _What the fu_..."

" _Sirius_ ," Remus hissed.

I locked eyes with Remus and pointed to the paper angrily. "Have you seen this rot yet!"

He shook his head. "No," he said and I turned the paper over to him  and I watched his eyes scan the short article quickly. "What the hell!"

I barked a maddened laugh. "That's m'Moony," I said in a sing-song voice as I tipped the cup to my lips again.

I don't think anyone else had noticed that Crookshanks huffed at the paper just before my near-outburst.

 


	20. Number 12 Grim-Old-Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius visits with Molly and it sparks another more recent memory.

The house was perfectly still and the silence of it was deafening. I lay on the settee in the front room in the dark, the only illumination being the street lamp slivering through the tiny gaps of the heavy drapes, shining silver beams through the dusty air onto the carpet. Outside, doors of a car slammed and I heard slight laughter of the pretty neighbor bringing home another guy. I heard the door close and then them climbing the stairs to her flat, then her door open and then close. Soon, the music began, slow sexy jazz...music to get laid by.

Lucky bloke.

I was effectively alone, having only Kreacher to keep me company. I rolled my eyes as I picked up the empty crystal glass and looked through the bottom at the distorted slivers of light. I gingerly put the glass on the floor; Remus would surely "fuss" that I'd broken yet another crystal glass if I dropped it. So I drank directly from the bottle of single malt whisky instead. I felt my stomach rumble from hunger and ignored it and drank of the bottle again, just to fill my stomach.

I realized that I was waiting for death to come and collect me. I welcomed it. I figured that it was only a matter of time...Remus would return to find my half decimated corpse laying on the settee, the half empty bottle still in my hand.

I breathed deeply and swung my legs over the edge of the aged fabric and sat up. I looked toward the piano and stood slowly, only to return to the settee with a chuckle. I stood up again and managed to stay upright and shuffled over toward the piano and sat down. I lifted the cover and allowed my long thing digits to splay over the yellowed ivory keys...the action was heavy, just how I liked it. I pressed down on middle C and shuddered...it was grossly out of tune; the entire instrument was and it set my teeth on edge. I closed the cover...I couldn't play it in that condition and I didn't feel like tuning it...would take too long.

I wandered out of the front room and headed for the kitchen. Once there, I opened the fridge (Harry and Hermione both insisted that I obtain one, so on her mother's advice, I got me a good one) and looked inside, the light illuminating the dark kitchen. I heard the floo crackle and looked over my shoulder...no one was expected, and I instinctively reached for my wand.

"Sirius? Are you here, dear?"

 _Molly_.

I closed my eyes and sighed...what could she possibly want?

"Of course, I'm here," I replied a little harsher than I meant to.

I saw the light from her wand illuminating the corridor and then the stair well and finally the entrance to the kitchen. "What are you doing here in the dark?"

"Nothing."

"Looks like I dropped in at the right time."

"Oh?"

"I've come to see if you'd like to come for supper? I'm on my own and well, I've made entirely too much and..."

I smiled. "You know I'm not supposed to leave here."

I watched her face harden. "Oh tosh! My house is just as secure!"

I thought about it for half-second, or maybe more, I'm not certain, but I smiled and nodded. "I could use a change of scenery."

"That's what I thought," she said as she threaded her arm through mine and we disapparated right to her kitchen table. She sat me down and levitated a place setting for the two of us. I sat down along the long edge of the long table and eagerly awaited whatever she had prepared...smelled like roast beef, tomatoes, carrots and potatoes...She placed a large bowl of a hearty-looking stew before me and I felt my mouth water immediately. She watched me with wide eyes as I inhaled the soup.

"What," I asked.

"Did you even taste it?"

"Of course I did! It's delicious!"

"You know, I really wish you could see yourself. Harry was right," she said with the most particular look on her face. I knew the look: I'd seen it on Remus' face at least a million times. And Ally's. And Tonks', but it was Harry who commented on it just a few weeks prior and it broke my heart. He told me that he'd watched me eat supper at least a half dozen times and it was always the same: I sat close to my place setting, my arm nearly wrapped around it as if I half expected someone to try to take it away from me.

The truth was, I did...

_The boy took his second helping once and set it at my place setting while I had got up to refresh my beverage. He sat perfectly still with his arms crossed over his chest when I looked at the stacked plates and then at the table settings; only his was empty. "You need to gain weight," he had said._

_"Harry...You eat it."_

_"I'm full though."_

_I nodded. "Ah. Well, you're a growing adolescent," I countered._

_"You're old and I'm faster," he replied with a grin._

_The look of amusement must have been something because everyone at the table got perfectly quiet and I imagined everyone's eyes moving between us as if they'd been watching a heated tennis match._

_"Think so?"_

_He sat back in his chair and crossed his legs and tightened his arms before his chest._ _"I know so," he said. The look on his face, I'd seen a million times on James'._

_I nodded and calmly reached for my glass of ale, took a sip and set it back down._

_"Oh shit," Remus whispered. "Sirius," he quietly hissed._

_"So, you're finished then," I asked of Harry._

_"I am," he replied, his voice full of bravado._

_I nodded. "Alright. Then, you're excused. You can go up to your room."_

_"What!"_

_"Did I stutter?"_

_"But..."_

_"Go."_

_The look of disdain and teenage malice was all over the boy's face. He gasped as he forced his chair back from the table and he stood abruptly and placed his hands on his hips and glared at me._

_"Please return the chair, you know how that bothers me when they're left out," I said in a quiet voice, my tone magnificently measured._

_He picked up the chair and slammed it on the floor and it hit the table._

_"Thank you," I said._

_He stomped out of the dining area and pounded the stairs with his sneakered feet and I sat back in my father's old chair and breathed in deeply as I pushed away the plates._

_That hurt. I finally fully appreciated my father's quietly spoken words to me whenever I had "misbehaved" and got the belt or a zap from his wand..."_ This will hurt me more than it will hurt you," _he'd say. I finally got what he meant._

_What I really wanted to do was to grab some of the pecan pie that Molly and the girls had made as a peace offering...I stayed glued to my chair though._

_Molly rounded the table and took the plates and pushed my glass of ale before me. "Bravo," she whispered._

_I looked up at Arthur to see s smile on his face and when my eyes met with his, he nodded and worked on his second helpings._

_"Little smartarse," I said with a grin._

_Remus sighed with relief as he shielded his brow with his shaking hand. "I never thought I'd see the day when I'd ever hear Harry..."_

_"Come on Rem," I said. "He's a kid. And I am aware that he meant well and I love him for it. But..."_

_Remus nodded and chuckled. "I'm just glad it was you and not me."_

_"Yeah," I said. "You get to be the cool guy for a while." I rose from the table. "Hey, did Dung leave his fags again by chance?"_

_Remus nodded and eyed over his shoulder. "In the cupboard..."_

_I nodded my head and walked the half meter toward the cupboard the opened it and retrieved the cigarettes, removed one and excused myself, taking my ale with me._

_On my way down to the wine cellar, I heard Remus say, "Damn, he's quite bothered..."_

_Well, Remus would know._   
  


"So, what are you saying, Mols? That I'll bite the hand that feeds me?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. You have trust issues, Sirius."

I looked her in her eyes and grinned. "I can't imagine why? The stew was delish Darling and I really do hate to eat and run, but I really do have to get back before I'm missed. The warden might show up..."

"And I'll tell Dumbledore what he can..."

I silenced her with a glance. "Thank you, Molly. I appreciate it. I really do. But I did this to myself."

She huffed. "What is it you say... _bullshit?_ "

I barked a laugh and kissed her cheek then levitated my empty soup bowl to her sink, as I stepped backward to a relatively empty spot and disapparated back to number 12 Grimmauld Place. I headed straight for my father's old office and sat down at his desk to write Harry a letter to see how he was doing...I could still hear the the thumping bass of the music from next door and my thoughts turned to the ever-lovely Allison...We used to tumble a lot, she and I and although we never did anything since; I was far too weak and she said that she knew that I wouldn't want a mercy-shag (and she was all too correct), I wondered if her self-imposed vow of celibacy was still in effect...

 


	21. The Ministry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and the Order make an emergency visit to the Ministry of Magic

I felt had about two shreds of sanity left to me and I was experiencing headaches daily...We were nearing the end of Harry's fifth year, I had finally had enough and spent my Easter in France. How I know is that I had in my possession, a receipt for a dinner for two that I had purchased in Paris. Wish I remembered it...I'd like to know who the hell I was with too! So yeah, I felt like I was losing my mind. Literally.

Then, I received a letter from my cousin Constance (I call her Connie) in France thanking me for my visit and wanted to know when my wife and I would be visiting again. I had to read the letter at least five times to make sure that I hadn't misread it...WE? US? My _WIFE_ _!_

_What. The. Hell??_

I flooed her immediately and upon seeing my distress, she asked me to visit the Tapestry Room, so while she was still seated before the floo and ran to the afore mentioned room and saw nothing of interest. I returned and it was then that she told me to come out immediately. So, without thinking, I disapparated for the main house and stood before my cousin who was waiting for my at the great doors of the chateau, shaking like a leaf...it's a miracle that I didn't get splinched.

She then escorted me to the Tapestry Room, which by all accounts, was the "official" family document...not the one that was in my house. I looked up and saw my likeness in blue and connected to mine by a golden thread was the likeness of _Hermione Granger_.

I came to in a chair, still before the giant tapestry with the Grand Dame Sissy standing over me. I heard her tell me that my brains were so scrambled that it was a wonder that I was sane anymore, how many times I had been oblivated, was anyone's guess.

"Can you reverse it, Sissy," I asked, as I held onto a warm cup of tea in both hands, nearly spilling it because I was shaking so badly.

"I can't say," she replied in her faked German accent. "But I will certainly try."

Over the next few days, I stayed in my house on the large property. I called it "The Dog House" for obvious reasons. I talked to the staff and to a particular house elf named Fleur. She took me to Hermione's room and sure enough, there was a wardrobe full of clothing that was the girl's style, plus a plethora of evening wear...apparently, we went out a lot?

"Can you fix it so that I don't know that I've been obliviated," I asked of my cousin.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I don't want it eating at me," that's why.

She nodded. "I'll try, Sirius...I'll try."

Low and behold, the cobwebs were lifted from my memories. Turns out that I was only handfasted to Hermione, because she wasn't legally able to marry without her parents' consent. I rolled my eyes...how the hell was I going to talk my way out of this one was beyond me.

I sent her an owl, asking her to meet me at the floo in the Gryffindor Common room, that we needed to talk about something urgent.

___

I sat before the floo at the agreed time and she was seated before the floo in her jimjams. She was beaming. "Sirius! You look dreadful! What's wrong!"

I breathed in deeply.

I watched her look beyond me. "Are you at the Dog House?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"Sirius! What is it! What's _wrong_!"

"Did I give you a ring?"

She smiled. "This is a test, right?" She held up her left hand and I saw nothing but when she held it out to me to take, I felt the ring on her finger. "No one know's it's there, just like you asked."

I nodded and smiled. "Good. How are your studies?"

She frowned. "I'm still catching up. While I love spending time with you, it's taken a toll on my grades. So, I know that I said that I'd be out this weekend, but I really must study...I'm...sor...well, you know." She blushed. "I told my mum that I'd be summering in France though, so we'll be able to spend the summer together."

"You told your mum that?"

She nodded.

"And she said...?"

"Well, she was disappointed, but since she and Dad are up to their eyeballs in conferences and symposiums and what not that it'll probably be for the best. She understands that I'd be in a safe place..."

I nodded as I scratched behind my ear and licked at my lips. "Yeah. Okay."

"Are you certain? You only do that when you're terribly bothered..."

"I do what?"

"Scratch your ear and lick your lips. You're...you're _nervous_."

I shook my head. "Nah love, I'm not nervous. I just miss you is all. I just, you know, can't wait to see you again."

She grinned and then giggled. "Miss cuddle time with me that much, do you? Well, you'll have me all to yourself for the summer, so just think about that, hmm? Besides, it's only two weeks away."

I breathed in deeply and nodded.

"Won't be long, Sirius. Oh, how's Remus and Tonks? Have they finally had a real date yet?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Dunno? Haven't seen them."

She looked troubled. "But they're not scheduled for a mission for another couple of weeks..."

"I've been here, love."

"Oh yes. Of course! Sorry!" She clamped her hand over her mouth as her eyes grew wide.

I raised my brows...apparently, this meant something..."Yes?"

"A slip of the tongue," she purred. "You like that..."

I grinned and nodded. "Mmhmm."

"I should go. _Two weeks_."

"I'll be counting the days."

"I love you," she said.

"Love you too, 'Mione."

"Are you certain you're alright? You've got me worried. I have the flannel. I can come out if you need me to. Just so as I'm back by morning..."

 _Flannel?_ What is the world was she talking about?

I shook my head. "I'm fine. Don't worry. Concentrate on your studies, love. Don't worry about me."

"It's my job to worry about you."

I laughed quietly. "Alright. Good night, love."

"Good night, Sirius."

I closed the floo connection and sat on my arse.

____

Two weeks came and went and wouldn't you know it? We had a major blow up. She left the London house in tears and that was the last time I saw her until we had an emergency involving Harry and the kids from the DA, which included my Hermione.

Remus insisted that I remain at the house and I fought him tooth and nail on it...Harry was my godson and my responsibility and the man needed to understand that. I was the first to arrive and saw Harry on a large dais talking to Lucy Malfoy...the git from hell. Around the perimeter of the large cavernous room were students that I didn't immediately recognize, but I did see Ginny, Ronald and Hermione. I walked stealthily toward her position and threatened Dolohov, who had her in his grasp with the tip of his wand to the underside of her chin.

"Put your wand away, or I'll break it and If one hair on her head falls to the floor, you're a dead man and I promise that it'll be painful. Have I made myself clear?"

"Crystal," he replied as he loosened his grip on her. "Go on, Misses Black."

"Thank you," she said with a shaky voice.

I turned my head and winked at her, then headed for Harry's position.

I saw that Harry had in his hand a prophesy sphere...I assumed that it was his. That being said, I knew that this was a trap that Harry had been lead to.

"It's _really_ that simple,"Malfoy said to Harry.

"No, I don't think I'll give it up."

"Fine by me," he said.  "I don't mind killing off each of your friends for each minute you  linger. Starting with little Miss Weasley over there."

I tapped Malfoy on his  shoulder and he quickly turned around to find me standing behind  him and I wondered why the other death eaters didn't warn him. "Hello  Lucy," I said, in the most condescending tone I could muster.

"Why if it isn't the family pooch! Hello Sirius!"

I winced for a half  of a millisecond, but I held out my arm and placed it around Lucy's  shoulder, turning him away from Harry. "A word, please?"

Harry's eyes moved to  Hermione who was once again struggling in the grasp of Antonin Dolohov and  while we were unable to hear him, I did see the man mouth the words, "be still." He looked at my leather cowboy boots and smiled as he shook his head.

"Sirius wait," Harry said.

My gaze shifted from Malfoy to my godson.

"You want this, Malfoy? Really?" He held out the prophesy toward Malfoy and I felt my eyes grew wide as I shook my head, but only barely.

"Yes," Malfoy replied as he reached for it.

"Well, I hope you can  catch," he said as he tossed it high into the air and moved out of the way.

Malfoy stared in horror  as he moved to catch the crystal sphere as it returned toward him and while he did manage to catch it, he also let it slip through his fingers. I couldn't help but laugh and then I quickly cleared my throat and nodded.  "Well done Harry," I couldn't get the grin off my face. "Reckon that's gonna hurt a  bit, Lucy. You know, when he finds out that you let  Harry's prophesy slip through your fingers?" I shook his head in mock  sympathy and clicked my tongue.

"Thanks Sirius," Harry  said with a grin, then knelt down next to Malfoy. "I really hope he's  not too upset with you. I know how harsh Voldemort can be," he said.  Harry looked over toward Bellatrix who had been holding Neville in her  grasp, her wand at his throat. She then pointed it toward him and his  grin faded quickly. My inner Padfoot put me on full alert...I was about to get my fight...

I turned my head  to see her wand pointed toward the boy and I grinned and faced her,  putting myself between her and Harry. I waved her over and brandished his  wand. "Come on. I won't bite," I teased. "Okay, I might. But if I do,  you can bite back! You've had all your shots, yeah? I know all too well  what a bitch you can be!"

Bellatrix glared at me, crossing her arms across her breasts.

"So do we have a deal, or what?"

When the woman released  her charge, she disapparated straight for me, materializing directly  before me, her wand brandished and I stood perfectly still, completely unaffected by the  silent threat. The other deatheaters had instantly disbanded and moments  later the room looked to have brewed it's own lighting storm, as bright  small explosions of light, and dark wispy trails of smoke filled the  room. Remus and  Dumbledore having just arrived; they were the only ones we were able to  make out clearly as everyone was moving so fast...I thought that I had seen Mad Eye Moody, Tonks and Kingsley Shacklebolt though. Each was  engaged with a deatheater. Dolohov  had placed Hermione in a spot where she would not get hurt...at the foot  of the dais. The others had merely left their charges where they were,  leaving  Dumbledore and Remus to round up the teens.

"Harry," I said  quickly as I deflected a jinx and looked up toward my cousin. "Look  you! I'm trying to have a conversation here! Do you mind! You'll get  your turn!"

Bellatrix grinned and curtsied.

"That's better! Remember who you're dealing with!"

Bellatrix put her hand to her heart. "Oh! I'm so terribly afraid!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, turning my attention to Harry. "Listen Harry, I want you to get the others out of here. If you go, they'll follow you!"

"No, I'm staying with you!"

"Harry...I want  you to know that you've acted admirably and your father would be doubly  proud were he alive. Your mother...not so much. She'd have a few choice  words for you and me too, and that being said, I need you to leave this  place. Now. It's about to get really ugly in here. Bella's about at the  end of her tether. She's itching for a fight and I'm itching to give  her one. She's had it coming for a very long time, you see..."

"Then let me stay!" Harry moved his wand to deflect a hex directed at me from Bellatrix. "See! I can help you!"

"Damn! Thanks, Harry!  But no. I'm insisting and I'm pulling rank! I know it's not fair, but  I'll see you back at the house, alright? Now, do as I say!" When Harry  still didn't move, I put my hand on his shoulder and looked him in  the eye. "Alright, it's like this: _man to man_...I need you to help keep Hermione safe for me whilst I'm away, okay?"

Harry tilted his head. " _What_?"

"I'll explain when I get  back!" I deflected a curse sent his way from Dolohov and Harry  deflected one from Malfoy. I shoved Harry toward Hermione and she  held out her hand for Harry to take. "Go... _NOW!_ "

Suddenly, Tonks appeared at his side as Dolohov was knocked out by Shacklebolt.

"Ah yes, lets keep it all in the family," Bellatrix said. "This should be fun," she giggled maniacally.

Hermione looked into Harry's eyes. "I know. I have a lot of explaining to do."

"You're telling me," Harry replied as he lifted his head to see a four way duel before him. 

Tonks had successfully  knocked out Malfoy and moved to where they were. "I have to help round  up the others. Promise that you'll all band together and leave this  place! Harry, please!"

Soon, the only two still  dueling were Bellatrix and myself; we were both standing on the dais,  close to the shimmering curtain, each firing curses and counter-curses  at the other.

"Come on Bella! You're not even trying!"

"I don't really want to hurt you Sirius," she replied in a low voice.

"Of course you do! We've an audience after all!"

Bellatrix looked out of the corner of her eyes and saw that everyone who was left standing was indeed watching.

"I dare you," I said. "I dare you to _try_."  She fired off several jinxes in rapid succession toward him and he  rolled his eyes as he barely flicked his wand and sent them harmlessly toward the ceiling. I put his hands on his hips and faked a yawn.  "Any time."

She stared hard and flicked a weak jinx toward me.

I laughed finally. "Oh come on! You can do better than that!"

" _FINE!_ " Having been aware that my wonderful mother would often use to use crucio on me, she cast a  silent crucio curse designed to knock me off of my feet and render me silent as well as cause me a little pain as it had hit me square  in the chest...it really hurt. I was out of practice and she knew it. I cried out silently and fell three steps backward. 

The next thing I knew, that stupid curtain had fluttered out as if a stiff breeze had been behind it and I felt it touch my hand and then encircle my wrist. My body felt like it was on fire for a split second, and then, I no longer felt it.

I remember thinking, "Ah shite. Bested by a bleedin' curtain."

Then, there was an explosion of light and then, everything went black.

I opened my eyes to see a big black nose in my face. I looked up and saw antlers.

_It was Prongs..._

I reached my arms up and embraced him as hard as I could allowing him to lift me up. I wanted to cry like a little baby, mostly because I could hear Hermione's screams as well as Harry's cries...but everything was fading away quickly...I did get to see Remus apparate behind Harry and encircled his strong arms around the boy just as he made it to my now floating body, at least, I would imagine that's how it wouldn't have looked to him...It was actually Prongs lifting me up though. I saw his arms outstretched to grab me, but Remus intervened. "NO!  DON'T TOUCH HIM HARRY! You can't help him! Harry! Please! Sirius...He's _gone!_ "

I suppose Remus finally realized that he was able to contain Harry no  longer. In a rage, the boy freed himself and ran after Bellatrix. Remus  cried out a long and guttural, mournful howl as he too fell to his  knees. 

"Well, if that isn't the saddest thing I've ever heard," Prongs said.

"Since when do you talk, Prongs?"

"Since I died. I can do lots of cool stuff now. Great fun at parties."

I barked a laugh and then turned my head to see Tonks as she appeared by  Hermione's side and held on to her, allowing the young witch to weep and  scream her lament. Tears streaking both of their faces, they both  looked toward the shimmering veil and finally, I knew that I had to let Hermione know that I was in fact, alright...

 _Sunshine_...

_Note from Ally..._

_Here is where I leave you dear reader; I hope you've gained some insight into the tragically-cut short life of Sirius Black. As one of my closest and dearest friends, I found myself losing hope when it came to issues of the war. I couldn't talk to Remus about it as he was all about mounting an extreme offensive...no, it was actually my dealings with Harry Potter himself that kept me going...I watched the light in his eyes ebb and flow with the continued exploits of the Dark Lord and his followers...but Harry had resigned to the "fact" that he was "The Chosen One."_

_With Kingsley Shacklebolt in charge of the ministry, Sirius was posthumously pardoned. In addition to keeping the heir to the House of Black safe, sound, healthy and happy, I still keep a weary eye on Sirius' godson, Harry Potter (it isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination since he's an Auror now--yes, the bad guys are still out there). Harry seems to be a relatively normal young man in many ways and in many ways, not. He's a damaged soul brought on by circumstances beyond his control...all I can seem to do is react and try to repair what damage I can...not easy when you've been up against the likes of Albus Dumbledore for what feels like forever...and then dealing with the mere memory of the man...? I didn't understand at first what Sirius meant when he mentioned to me that his loyalties lay with the Potters and not with Dumbledore...Well, I certainly do now. And I hope you do too._

_I only wish I had the power to change Sirius' stars as it were...things might have turned out differently for all of us._

~fin~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it, the whole kit and kaboodle. I do hope you enjoyed it. Kindly let me know in the comments! I'd love to know what you thought of it! I'll likely be posting Truth or Dare sometime in the near future...  
> Thanks for reading!  
> All the love...  
> Nique

**Author's Note:**

> All the rest of the chapters will be in Sirius' voice or third person unless otherwise noted.
> 
> I do hope you enjoy! Kindly let me know what you think?
> 
> All the love,
> 
> 'Nique


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